30

STARLING

Sebastian starts to stand and I reach out and grab his arm, halting his movements. He’s thrown so much information at me in the last five minutes that I barely know where to start to work through it all, but the thing that sticks out the most is that he loves me.

“You love me?” I question. It’s not the first time he’s told me, but it’s the first time I actually believe him.

“More than anything else in the world, more than I realized it was possible to love another person.”

“I have a tracker in my neck?”

“I can arrange for it to be removed, there’s normally a tiny scar, but I can get a plastic surgeon to make sure you can’t see anything.”

“Why are you so obsessed with me, Sebastian?” I ask. “I need more than you seeing me and knowing I was meant to be yours.”

His laugh is low and sad. “It started because you were beautiful, but then you said no to me. It was like you lit a match against a tinder, you fought, you bartered, you challenged me and I love it. And now it’s because I broke you and you came back fighting. You are singularly the strongest, most stubborn, resilient, beautiful person I have ever met. You refuse to do as I say, ignore my rules, flout my threats and laugh at my ultimatums. You make me fight you, for everything, and I have never needed anyone the way I need you. In the world we live in, all I have to do is say my name and problems just fall away. I beat the shit out of that guy tonight and if I were anyone else, I’d have been arrested, but as soon as I told them who I was they were shutting up their little notepads and walking away. I love you, because you don’t give a crap who I am. I love you because the moment I touch you it feels like my skin is set on fire. I love you because you are the only person I know I’ll never ever get bored of.”

“So you love me because I’m a pain in your ass?” I laugh.

A soft chuckle reaches my ears and I can’t help but stare at him. “You are everything I’ll never deserve.”

“You took over my life in high school.”

“I know.”

“You turned my best friend against me.”

“In my defense, she confessed really early on that she was only friends with you because she saw me watching you and she thought you might help her get to me and the others.”

“You destroyed my relationship with my mom.”

“I know,” he says, bowing his head.

“You stalked me.”

“I did,” he nods.

“You sabotaged my college plans to get me here.”

He silently agrees.

“You had a tracker implanted in my neck and had a security team follow my every move?”

“Yes.”

As I list his crimes, I feel a smile start to form on my lips. Nothing about what he’s done is funny, but I can’t help it and by the time I’m finished, I’m giggling. This boy, this man has put me through so much. But he’s also protected me in his own fucked-up way. He’s cared for me, made me feel more than I realized was possible.