“Wow,” she says again.

“Half of me thinks he’s still fucking with me, but I just don’t know anymore. I want to walk away, to leave and forget about him, but it’s like he’s infected my thoughts. He’s been the monster under the bed for so long now, I just don’t think I can just pretend he’s not a part of my life.”

“And the sex?”

“Well I’ve got nothing else to compare it to, but it was phenomenal, completely out of this world. I came so many times I actually thought about asking him to stop making me orgasm at one point. I don’t know what it is about being with him, our past is so toxic and even when he’s not messing with me, it still feels like he’s messing with me. Last night when I was dancing with that guy, all I could think about was that it felt wrong, him touching me. I got asked out a couple of days ago and I felt nothing but an icky guilt, like if I agreed I’d be cheating. When Sebastian touches me, even after all our fucked-up history, it feels right.”

“Oh my god, this is some next level messed up,” Sammy laughs.

“Tell me about it. I’ve never even kissed anyone but him.”

“We need to change that. You can’t make an informed decision about Sebastian if you’ve never experienced anything else. There’s a block party tonight at Bufford Row in the town houses, we’re going to go and you’re going to find a cute guy to kiss. If it’s good then great, you can explore what boys are like away from Sebastian and his mind fuckery. If it’s bad, or it feels wrong, then maybe as messed up as he is, Sebastian is the one, and you need to figure out a way to forget the past and move forward.”

27

SEBASTIAN

It’s been hours since I left her room and I can still smell her on me. I need to shower, but the thought of washing her off my skin is repellant. My cell is at my side, I half expected her to text me this morning, but she didn’t, instead her and her friend went out to breakfast and haven’t been back since.

When her security team advised me that she left campus I almost followed and dragged her back. I’m happy to allow her the illusion of freedom in the confines of Kingsacre, but if she tries to actually leave me, I won’t be able to allow her to go.

As hard as it was to leave her this morning, I’m confident it was the right thing to do. I know she was confused and a little pissed, she even spoke to the guys about it, but making her mad is completely worth it if it forces her to deal with the way I know she feels about me.

My dick starts to harden the moment I let myself think about how it was between us last night. I never forced her the first time we had sex, but there was definitely some coercion, manipulation and heated emotions that fueled it. Last night was all about want and need. She offered herself to me and that gift made everything better.