Is that what I am? Am I a one-night stand? Is that what last night was? From the moment he tore into my life and smashed it to pieces he’s called me little bird, but last night he never used the pet name even once. Should I have known I wasn’t special to him anymore?

Tears fill my eyes and instead of trying to fight them, I let them fall. I cry for myself, for an amazing night that’s been ruined by his absence, and I cry because as much as I hate it, I wish he was here. I wish I was fighting with him; I wish he was here so I could tell him he was an asshole and that he doesn’t own me. But he’s not and I hate it.

More tears roll down my cheeks and I’m not sure why. I don’t want to care about him, but the moment he put his hands on me last night, all the unanswered questions I’ve been asking myself over and over again didn’t seem to matter, because he was the answer to them all.

The boy who blew my world to pieces, is the only person who can put me together again, but I gave myself to him last night and this morning he was gone. He’s spent years chasing me but the moment I stop running he turns and calmly walks in the opposite direction.

My own confusion wars with the anger Sebastian always seems to provoke in me. Half of me wants to storm downstairs and kick him in the balls for leaving, the other half refuses to ever chase him.

A beeping sound calls me back into my bedroom and I flop onto the bed, grabbing my cell from where I apparently put it on charge last night. There’re three texts from Sammy and a missed called from my dad.

I feel too ragged to speak to my dad right now. He knows Sebastian is here. I didn’t tell him that he orchestrated me being here too or why he did it, I just told him that Harry had arranged for me to be in the same house as Evan and that the others had all decided to transfer here to be together for their junior and senior years. Dad was furious, he tried to get me to leave, to come home to Maine, I refused. That was a week ago and both of us have been too stubborn to contact the other until now.

Clicking into my messages, I promise myself that I’ll call Dad later.

Sammy: Where did you go?

Sammy: Clay (OMG how hot is he!!!) told me Sebastian took you home. AHHHHHHHHH I really hope he’s fucking you into the mattress right now. I want to hear ALL the dirty details tomorrow.

Sammy: Are you alive? Did he wear your pussy out???

A bark of laughter falls from my lips and I type out a reply.

Me: I’m alive, not so sure about my pussy.