ME: Actually, I think so anyway.

NN: LOL. An orgasm and a laugh. The best sexting for a while.

ME: I will take that compliment.

NN: Same time tomorrow, stranger?

ME: It’s your turn tomorrow.

NN: Don’t worry. I’ll watch some porn before. ; )

ME: Hey, it works.

NN: Any excuse to watch porn works for me. Goodnight, stranger.

ME: Goodnight, number neighbor.

CHAPTER THREE – HANNAH

Books and… Bondage

Book club had to be one of the weirdest things anyone would ever come across in their lifetime.

It wasn’t every day you met four octogenarians who liked to read bondage romance novels.

It was quite the treat.

Unless you were the granddaughter of one of those women, then it was a little more trick and a lot less treat.

“Did you have to bring the damn kitten?” Grandma asked, staring at the cat box. “It can’t read or drink. It’s useless.”

“It’s been alone half the day,” I replied. “Besides, it’s asleep. Even if it were awake, I could guarantee it would be less trouble than the fearsome foursome.”

“The fearsome foursome,” she mused. “We need that on t-shirts.”

“You need to stop ordering dust jackets from eBay,” Immy said, walking into the room and tossing a package in Grandma’s direction. “You’re not fooling anyone, Grandma.”

“This isn’t dust jackets; it’s my new bra!”

I blinked.

I wasn’t even going to respond to that.

“You order bras from eBay?” Immy froze. “Why?”

Grandma tore into the packet. “You can buy ones with holes to free your nipples!” She held up the bra she’d bought.

Well, I used the word ‘bra’ loosely.

It was more a scrap of vaguely sculpted lace with holes where her nipples were supposed to go.

No wires, no support, no nothing.

“Where on Earth do you think you can wear that?” I sputtered, staring at the lime green scrap of material. “Do you know your nipples play with your kneecaps?”

She threw the bra at me. “Have some respect for your elders!”

“Why? Judging by that, you have no respect for anyone, elders or otherwise.”

Immy picked the ‘bra’ up with her finger and thumb. “She’s right, Grandma. You can’t wear that. These things are made for lingerie sites… or porn sites.”

I didn’t think I’d ever seen anything like that on a porn site.

I hoped I never would, especially not on an eighty-something-year-old woman.

Now, let me make this clear: I was not against anyone wearing anything that made them feel confident, beautiful, or like an absolute boss.

I was merely against knowing my grandmother was wearing such a thing.

It was a vision I didn’t need, thank you very much.

“Oh, Hannah, I have a date for you.” Grandma folded her quasi-bra into a tidy little triangle and tucked it into the pocket of her cardigan. “He’s twenty-eight, a lawyer, and has no friendly exes or children.”

“Subtle, Grandma. Real subtle,” Immy said, twirling her wine glass.

I rolled my eyes. We all knew Grandma loved Mason and especially Maya, and she was making Fran’s wedding cake for the love of God.