“Does she even know those people?”

“No, but she has now taken to pointing at the wedding and new baby announcements and wondering out loud when it’ll be me.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Is that before or after the obituaries?”

“Before. Apparently, she needs the obituaries to cheer her up.” Immy gave me a withering look. “The woman is one head bang away from being institutionalized.”

That was slightly dramatic.

“I don’t really want to come,” I admitted. “Do I have to?”

“You don’t have to, but you should. To be a good granddaughter.”

“I’m not going so you can run off.” I tossed the yarn I’d just priced into the basket. “If you do that, I’m leaving them on their own.”

Immy’s face wrinkled up, but she dropped the expression and sighed. “Fine. Okay. I won’t run away.”

“Good.”

“But you’re going to tell me all about your late night escapade with your number neighbor.”

I sighed, heavier than she had. “Fine.”

***

NN: Hey, stranger.

“Lucifer, to bed.” I scooped up the kitten and put it in the kitchen in its bed. He meowed then sneezed, snotting all over my wall. I quickly wiped up the mess before scratching the kitten under its ear and saying goodnight.

Butterflies exploded in my stomach as I shut my bedroom door behind me. I really was starting to question my own sanity in doing this, but at this point, I had nothing to lose.

I also had nothing better to do on a Saturday night.

I needed to address that issue soon.

ME: Hey.

NN: Good day?

ME: Is it normal to make small talk before you sext?

NN: Do you have a filter between your brain and your fingers?

ME: No. That was lost generations ago. If you think I’m bad, you should meet my grandmother.

NN: Maybe just the virtual sex for tonight.

I wished I was that lucky.

ME: Okay.

ME: Um, should I start?

NN: If you’re ready to. Go ahead.

ME: Okay.

And… nothing.

Goddamn it.

It couldn’t be that hard, could it? I’d watched plenty of porn. I’d had sex. I knew how people parked the car in the garage.

I could totally do this.

My thumbs hovered over my phone.

I could not do this.

What if I watched porn? Maybe it would get my motor running a little. Give me some ideas. Ease me into it a little.

Yeah. Porn. That was what I needed.

Okay.

I could do this.

I clicked onto my phone browser and opened a new incognito tab. I typed in the address of the only porn site I’d ever watched and scrolled the homepage. The videos played highlights if I lightly touched the thumbnails.

Two girls and a guy. Hot as hell, but one too many people for this scenario.

Two gay guys. Not really my cup of tea, and also one was the wrong gender.

A black taxi video. Too public.

Stepmom and stepson. A little too close to the line for this girl.