BRADSHAW. And they’d print your photo, next to it, and your name, and that this would destroy you, and this magazine, and everyone would know what a grubby, diseased, perverted man you are. He said I could cut you out like a cancer.

,

AIDAN. He said that.

BRADSHAW. He did. He did say that and he has given me the, contact details, of a number of big editors at big newspapers, who he says would be very interested in this story.

AIDAN. And you intend to –

BRADSHAW. Yes.

AIDAN. And there’s nothing I can –

BRADSHAW. No. I’m sorry but there it is.

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AIDAN. Can I ask, I’m sorry, I know this is a very difficult thing to, but can I just ask how you became aware of the –

BRADSHAW. Indecent photographs of my child?

AIDAN. Exactly, because your daughter didn’t tell you about this incident, did she? No, I don’t blame her, it’s an awkward conversation.

BRADSHAW. She’s absolutely beside herself.

AIDAN. Is she? That’s awful, but what I’m getting at is, this came to light because well, you saw it, didn’t you?

BRADSHAW. I don’t follow.

AIDAN. You saw it yourself. In the magazine. In the magazine which you bought.

BRADSHAW. Not a crime. Buying a magazine.

AIDAN. Of course it’s not. You’re entitled.

BRADSHAW. Just a magazine.

AIDAN. Just a magazine, absolutely, just a men’s magazine that you, as a consumer, are completely entitled to buy. I mean, we’re not living in bloody Abu Dhabi, are we!

BRADSHAW. I don’t usually look at the pictures, if that’s what you’re getting at.

AIDAN. Sorry!

BRADSHAW. What?

AIDAN. No. Nothing.

AIDAN picks up an old copy of Doghouse, leafs through it.

BRADSHAW. I like the articles.

AIDAN. You like the – no, sorry, I’m just wondering which ones in – is it ‘How to Upgrade Your Girlfriend’? Or ‘Travels with my Erection’?

BRADSHAW. It’s the articles, all of the, I read them on the bus or sometimes in the pub –

AIDAN. The articles are shit. No offence, Charlotte. But no one buys our publication principally for the literature. I think it’s important to acknowledge that.

BRADSHAW. If you’re suggesting –

AIDAN. I’m not suggesting anything except that you, like all of us here, appreciate certain types of images, that happen to be of beautiful girls in a state of undress.

BRADSHAW. Not young girls.

AIDAN. That’s simply human. That’s just aesthetics.

BRADSHAW. Not young girls.

AIDAN. No. But eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Young compared to us old codgers, eh, Mr Bradshaw!

BRADSHAW. Not fucking fourteen. Sorry.

AIDAN. No, of course. Four years older than fourteen.

BRADSHAW. Eighteen’s different to fourteen.

AIDAN. But you can see our dilemma? Your daughter looks like an eighteen-year-old.

BRADSHAW. But she’s not eighteen, is she, she’s –