AIDAN. Because there’s no way they can know this, is there? / They don’t know you saw those photographs.

SAM. When I was sixteen, me and my girlfriend Michelle Berry, we watched a documentary about men who’d had their faces blown off in Ypres. After the plastic surgery they looked worse, all these boys deformed like little slitty mouths and trunks for noses and I said to Michelle, would you love me if I looked like that?

AIDAN. Can we just focus / please?

SAM. And she said no. She said no, that fucking turns my stomach, you’d rather be dead, wouldn’t you?

AIDAN. Carrie was, she was in school uniform, and you didn’t think to –

SAM. No I just thought, it’s old, it’s just, people have their whole lives on there, don’t they?

AIDAN. No that’s. Understandable. And there is a consent form.

SAM. There are photos of me from when I was thirteen on there, I look like a foetus, I didn’t think – it never crossed my mind that she might not be –

AIDAN. The consent form has been signed.

SAM. Except now I can remember very clearly. There was, I did have –

AIDAN. What we are talking about is forgery –

SAM. There was this feeling of dread.

AIDAN. – that’s what we’re talking about.

SAM. Which eventually passed.

But she’s a little girl. I picked a little girl. Out of nearly a thousand a little girl I picked a little girl –

AIDAN. You didn’t know.

SAM. She likes Twilight and going to theme parks!

AIDAN. Don’t mention this to anyone. It’s alright, but don’t.

SAM. Rona’s going to kill me.

AIDAN. Are you listening to me?

CHARLOTTE (off). Aidan! He wants to talk to you, line two!

AIDAN. Here. Go and have a cigarette, get some air, wash your face.

AIDAN takes out his cigarettes, offers them to SAM.

SAM. I don’t smoke.

AIDAN. It’ll make you feel better, just – Rupert!

SAM. Cigarettes give you cancer. Heart disease.

AIDAN shows him the packet.

AIDAN. Not these ones, these just harm your unborn child, Rupert, get in here!

RUPERT enters. AIDAN gestures to SAM, who is rocking back and forth.

Take him to the pub, sort him out.

RUPERT. Say please.

AIDAN. Rupert, please stop being a fucking prick and help me out here.

RUPERT pulls down his trousers and pants, drags his bare arse across AIDAN’s desk and walks out again.

You’re – that is not – that’s strike one!

RUPERT (off). Stick it up your arse, you fucking prole.

CHARLOTTE (off). Aidan! Line two!

AIDAN. Thank you, yes!

AIDAN races round to the phone.

SAM. Aidan?

AIDAN. What.

SAM. I’m having another one.

AIDAN. Right.

SAM. A feeling of dread.

AIDAN. I’m sorry, Sam. I have to take this.