As Shaw moved over toward the cluster of husbands and wives, North limped after him, milking each step like he was trying to win an Oscar. “You don’t have to be mean about it,” North called after him.

4

NOBODY HAD ACTUALLY seen the goats.

The older couples made that very clear.

The first woman had just had her eyes done. “There are pictures all over the website. Really, there are. And the little goats look adorable. And they’ve got this one video of a woman with a goat right on her back while she does yoga, and it’s remarkable. I told Norris that we’d have the most wonderful time, and now it’s all ruined.”

“Kids,” Shaw said.

She tried to raise her eyebrows, but they looked stitched in place. “Pardon me?”

“Did you get to go to the cheese tasting?” North asked.

“I don’t really see—”

“Irrelevant,” Shaw said, pushing North toward the next couple.

The second woman had just had a neck tuck. “That’s the thing nobody knows about Nashville, you see, they’ve just got such a wonderful medical community. I saw Dr. Ripley, and it takes absolutely ages for anyone to see him, but he made a special exception for me.” She cupped a hand to her mouth and, in a mock whisper, said, “Gold-plated insurance,” and then did a kind of sparkling dance with her eyes. “And after I saw that hilarious video of the woman trying to do goat yoga, I mean, truly hilarious, I told Victor, I said to him, ‘Wouldn’t it be quaint?’ Isn’t that what I said, Victor? Isn’t it?”

Victor, who resembled a bulldog stuffed into a summer sports coat, seemed to be working himself up to something, and finally he barked, “Quaint,” and subsided again.

“The video’s funny?”

“Oh my God, it’s hilarious. Just hilarious. The woman is massive, I mean, I’d absolutely never body shame anyone, never, I’ve had weight problems of my own. But this woman, she’s just grand, that’s what my mother would have said, she’s a grand woman.”

“Like a grand piano,” North said, smiling like he had a steel trap between his jaws.

“Oh my God, do you think that’s where Mother got it from? Oh my God, that’s just wonderful. Well, I showed Victor, and the goat is right on her back, just right on her back, and I said, Victor, ‘Dr. Ripley can squeeze me in, and wouldn’t it be quaint, and—”

“He needs to do a little more squeezing,” North said, still smiling a mouthful of steel at her. Then he flapped the back of his hand under his jaw. “Looks like a staple might be coming loose.”

“Well, I—Victor, did you—”

Shaw guessed it would be another ten minutes or so before Victor cranked out another word, so he shoved North toward their next interview, the older woman who stood by herself. If she’d had work done recently, Shaw couldn’t see it, but he was willing to bet the nose and the hairline hadn’t been stock parts.