“I doubt it,” Chuck said. “It happened fast, and a bunch of the other guys pressed up around us.”

“So much for Cousin Rodney’s proof,” North said. “Let’s just pick a fight and have Pari record it.”

“What do you need proof for?” Pari asked.

“Long story,” Shaw said. “I just need a picture of one of them doing something shitty. Preferably to a woman.”

“You’ve got a camera on your phone?” Pari asked.

“Yeah, but—”

“Get ready.” Without an explanation, she plunged back into the crowd, towing Chuck with her.

“Preferably to a woman?” North said.

“You know what I meant.”

“Just because you don’t want to use her body sexually—”

“Oh Jesus,” Shaw said.

“—doesn’t mean you can treat them like objects.”

“Ok, ok.” Shaw kept an eye on the swarming mass on the dance floor, but Pari had disappeared, as had Chuck. “I get it.”

“I know your dick is slowly shriveling away.”

“Fuck.”

“That’s the problem. You’ve been bone dry for weeks. Medically speaking—”

“You are not a doctor. You don’t even play one on TV.”

“—what you’re experiencing is a form of atrophy. Dick-and-balls atrophy. Atrophy is when—”

“I know what atrophy means.”

“Ok. I just wasn’t sure. You know, on account of you dropping out of college.”

“Me? Because I dropped out, I’m the one who might not know what atrophy means?”

“You didn’t get a degree.” North smirked. “I did.”

“You got a C minus in Dr. Liberta’s Intro to English class, and then you dropped your English minor, so don’t tell me what atrophy means.”

Pari and Chuck had emerged from the dancing mob, their bodies twined together, kissing heavily as they stumbled back, breaking through the line of bros to crash against the table and rattle bottles and glasses. A mixture of cheers and shouts went up among the bros, but the noises were secondary. They were all watching the girls so closely that Shaw was surprised they hadn’t swallowed their tongues.

“Camera,” North muttered.

Shaw blinked and started recording. Pari and Chuck were really going at it. Pari had one hand up under Chuck’s cami. Chuck’s fingers were digging hard into Pari’s waist. And what they were doing with their mouths—Shaw wanted to take notes. Just for the sake of science. Or in case he ever went on a date again.

“Your eyes might fall out of your head,” North whispered, and Shaw jumped, his cheeks heating.

“It’s not—I’m not—” He drew in a breath. “They’re girls, North!”

North was grinning, his eyes the blue gleam of fresh snowfall, and he laid a finger over his lips and directed Shaw’s attention back to the scene unfolding.