Blip. Blurp. I was underwater. It was so icy cold my brain hurt, and, despite inhaling before going over, I felt instantly out of breath. The water pressure crushed in around my face. My eyes bulged. Water hammered up my nostrils. My spray skirt and dry top squeezed tight around my chest and neck, compressing the little oxygen that remained in my lungs. I could hear bubbles floating up toward the surface, and I tried to imagine the orientation of my body and the boat bobbing above me, but it was all inverted and topsy-turvy. I felt Rob’s hands guiding my paddle to the surface and tried to snap my hips as my head lifted out of the water, desperately floundering for air. Taking a gasp of air, I heard Rob’s voice saying “Head last” as I plunked back over. Then Rob grabbed the boat and turned me right side up. I gasped, shook my head, and blew water out of my nose.

“Let’s try it again,” Rob said. “Remember, the average human head weighs about ten pounds—it’s really heavy, and it acts like an anchor trying to sink back into the water. And Big E, your head is way bigger.” He cracked up at his own joke.

We practiced over and over, with Rob helping me up. Each time, the motion made a little more sense to me as Rob peppered me with helpful tips. “Your paddle needs to be at a right angle to your boat as you sweep,” and “Your paddle blade needs to be flat against the surface. Otherwise, it’ll slice through the water. When you’re under, bend your wrists from side to side and see if you can feel when the blade’s flat,” and “Your hips are a lot more powerful than your arms, so use your core. Don’t just muscle it with those biceps.”

After a few times, he said excitedly, “That was 90 percent you, Big E.”

On my next try, I forced my paddle up, snapped my hips, drove my knees, tucked my head down, and found my kayak slowly tipping up out of the water. The motion then stalled out as the boat hovered on its edge. I thought it was going to flop back over. I dropped my head even more and strained with my hips and abs. The boat inched over a little more and then plunked down. I was sitting upright, happily breathing air, honestly surprised it had worked. By the end, I’d performed four very shaky, yet successful, rolls.

5

In the spring, our neighbors invited my family to go along on a rafting trip down the Green River over the Fourth of July. I immediately asked Rob to come along. I saw it as an opportunity to have a great time with my family and to also practice kayaking with Rob guiding me.