‘That’s not fair!’ Dulcie gasped. ‘I did this for you.’

‘No, you didn’t. You did it for yourself, just like you do everything else.’ He opened his eyes, his face full of contempt. ‘Have you told Sister what you’ve done? Or how about Dr Logan? No point in doing a good deed if you don’t get noticed for it, is there? So why don’t you just run off and tell them? With any luck they’ll transfer you to the shell shock ward and we’ll all be better off!’

Dulcie stared at him, shocked by his bitterness. ‘Is that what you really think?’

‘It’s the truth, isn’t it?’

She was silent. He had a point, of course. Dulcie did usually have her own interests at heart. But to hear it exposed brutally like that … Was she really so calculating?

‘Perhaps you’re right,’ she said. ‘But I still think it would do you good to see your family again. You might not feel like it now,’ she pressed on, as Sam opened his mouth to speak. ‘But just imagine what it will be like to hold your children again.’

‘You still don’t understand, do you?’ he cut her off, his face bleak. ‘I don’t want to hold my children again. I don’t want to see them!’

‘Why not?’ Dulcie looked down at his chest. ‘Is it that you’re worried your wound will distress them? Because if that’s it, I can—’

‘It’s nothing to do with the bloody wound!’

‘What, then? What’s so bad that it’s keeping you from seeing your own children?’

‘None of your business,’ he bit out.

‘But I want to know. Don’t you love your children?’

He flashed her a look of pure dislike. ‘Of course I love them!

‘Then why don’t you want to see them?’

For a moment he said nothing, his mouth a tight line. Then, quietly, he said, ‘Because I’m—’

‘What?’ Dulcie prompted.

He turned to look at her, and she saw the depth of sorrow in his eyes.

‘Because I’m too ashamed,’ he said.

It was the last thing she had been expecting him to say. The words hung in the silence between them.

‘Ashamed? You? But – but why? You’re a hero, you earned a medal.’

‘I followed orders and they gave me a piece of tin,’ he snarled. ‘What does that matter, compared to …’ He stopped.

‘Compared to what?’

Sam looked away. ‘You wouldn’t understand.’

‘I’d like to try.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

She recognised the stubborn lift of his chin. If Sam Trevelyan really did not want to speak then wild horses wouldn’t drag it out of him.

‘You’d rather just have nightmares about it instead?’

His mouth curled. ‘So you’re a psychiatrist now, are you? Have you been taking lessons from your friend Dr Logan?’

‘I don’t have to be a psychiatrist to know you’ve got a secret,’ Dulcie said. ‘And I also know if you don’t let it out, it’s going to poison everything.’