“Jesus,” she says, once I’ve finished. She gazes at me, the remains of her eyeliner smeared under her eyes, and then she pauses the film. “Sounds like a really bad argument.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“You don’t think he wants to break up, do you?”

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe. He didn’t say no I don’t want to break up, you know? He just… got so angry…” And then suddenly I feel tears in my eyes. I bring up a hand to cover my face and when I speak, my voice is all high-pitched and wobbly. “I feel like shit.”

“Oh, Charlie.” Victoria puts down her crisps and pulls me into a hug, running one hand over my back. “It’s okay.”

I shake my head into her shoulder, trying not to get tears all over her dressing gown. “It’s not okay… it’s really not okay…”

She lets me cry into her shoulder for a few minutes before she speaks again.

“I think you need to talk to him.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I whisper.

“Just something. Anything.”

“He hates me.”

“That’s untrue.”

“He’s angry.”

“That’s temporary.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“It doesn’t matter what you say,” she says. “You just have to say something.”

NICK

Saturday is a nothing day. I get up at around ten. I take Henry for a walk. I eat. I have a nap. I play with Henry in the living room. I play video games for five hours. I eat again. I nap again. I go on YouTube for four hours. I discover that I’ve lost my disposable camera. I spend an hour looking for it. And then I cry myself to sleep.

On Sunday morning I stay in bed. I start to realise that the reason I feel numb is because I’m in shock. In shock that Charlie would even suggest breaking up. I also start to realise that the shock is turning into panic, I’m panicking now, panicking that long distance really isn’t going to work after all, that it’s going to be too hard. If Charlie’s this upset now, he’ll be even worse when I leave. But I can’t stay here just because he’s upset about it. What am I supposed to do? There’s nothing I can do. Nothing. It is what it is. Charlie wants to break up with me before it gets too painful. Maybe we’d end up breaking up anyway. Maybe we’re just getting it out of the way.

What? I don’t know. I have no idea what I think any more.

I go to text Charlie but then realise I can’t because I don’t know what to say. I can’t speak to him until I actually understand what I feel.

I start crying again.