‘Hah!’ Leon shouted, as he high-fived Ning. ‘That’s almost two to one.’

Lauren and Bruce looked at each other, shaking heads as Capstick approached, smiling and thumping James on the back.

‘How’s my training so far, boss?’ he asked.

Since James was in charge of the mission, he was technically Capstick’s boss. Though he’d have to follow orders during physical training, if he didn’t want to lose everyone’s respect.

‘I’m grand,’ James lied. ‘Fine and dandy.’

‘Looking forward to that run around the island?’ Capstick asked, as he eyed Kyle. ‘My youngsters have you whipped, and you might end up having to give this fellow a piggyback.’

As the training assistants poured balls back into the pool ready for round two, James saw Tovah coming down the path from the huts, dressed in a black bikini.

‘I could bury my face in that cleavage,’ Bruce noted quietly.

‘Misogynist pig,’ Lauren growled, as she thumped him.

‘Hey,’ Tovah said, peering at James over the top of her sunglasses. ‘This looks like fun. Can anyone play?’

28. BUNKS

The hut slept eight, so James, Kyle and Bruce got a set of bunks each.

‘Oh, glorious day!’ Bruce said brightly, as he came from a slightly grungy bathroom dressed in shorts. ‘Sun is shining and life is good!’

‘Sod off,’ Kyle moaned, pulling a pillow over his face. ‘My body hurts.’

‘What bit?’

‘All of it,’ Kyle said, as he sat up. ‘I’m old.’

‘You’re twenty-six,’ Bruce noted. ‘Jesus.’

Kyle saw a tangle of sheets in the next bunk across. ‘Is James up?’

Bruce smiled. ‘Kerry arrived on a boat around three a.m. They were all over each other.’

‘I wish I had that,’ Kyle said.

‘What?’ Bruce asked.

‘James and Kerry,’ Kyle explained. ‘They’re like an institution. None of that messing around trying to find my perfect guy. You just meet someone when you’re twelve and it all goes great.’

Bruce laughed. ‘They’ve broken up a hundred times.’

Kyle nodded as he pulled up a set of tracksuit bottoms. ‘But did we ever doubt that they’d get back together every time it happened?’

‘I dated Kerry,’ Bruce pointed out acidly.

‘No offence,’ Kyle said, clutching his ribs and groaning as he stood up.

‘So over it,’ Bruce said. ‘Thai girls are awesome! How’s your love life these days? You still seeing that quantity surveyor with the nose ring?’

‘He dumped me for an Indian PHP programmer,’ Kyle said, sighing as he checked his iPhone and slid feet into Adidas. ‘Breakfast?’

‘Bloody right,’ Bruce said. ‘I’ve got a crazy appetite.’

The main kitchen and dining-room was undergoing an off-season refurbishment, so the chef had made do with a domestic kitchen in a staff flat. She’d cleared sofas out of a living-room and found odd chairs and fold-out tables to make a dining space.

‘Ahoy, mateys,’ James crowed, as Kyle and Bruce joined him at a buffet table.