So infectious was Crockett’s enthusiasm that I could not help responding with an indulgent half-smile— which, however, rapidly faded from my countenance as I was struck with a troublesome thought. “But surely, Colonel Crockett, you must have weighty obligations elsewhere that require your immediate attention. While I hesitate to question your optimistic conviction, it is possible that this matter may not, in fact, be resolved quite as expeditiously as you believe.”

“It’s true as preachin’, Cricket—there’s more folks’n you can shake a stick at that’s clammerin’ after me. Why, the Big-Whigs of Boston was fixin’ to throw me a riproarious dinner at the Tremont House the day after next. But that little shindig’ll just have to wait for a spell. No sir,” he insisted with an emphatic shake of the head. “I don’t aim to stir from this fair city of yourn ’til the culprit has been brung to justice.”

“Well, Colonel Crockett,” I replied, “should this affair require more time than you anticipate, you will at least have the privilege of spending it in Baltimore, which, as you say, is truly one of the fairest—as well as one of the most progressive—municipalities in the land.” Then, cocking an eyebrow, I added, “I assume that your newfound acquaintance of this morning has already introduced you to some of its many attractions.”

“You mean Maryanne Mullany?” said the frontiersman with a distinctly rakish grin. “Why, that sweet li’l gal was what I’d call downright hospitable. Yessir, she showed me a sight or two that had my eyes bulgin’ out as big as a bullfrog’s.”

“I have no doubt,” I replied dryly. “And which of these marvels, if I may inquire, were you most taken by?”

“Lemme see,” he reflected, stroking his square, smooth-shaven chin. “There was that splendiferous cathedra! that ain’t like nothin’ I ever seed. And the Holliday Street The-ayter. And that dazzlin’ big buildin’ over yonder on Gay Street,”

“Ah yes” I said, “The New Export-Import Mercantile Association Building—one of the most imposing commercial structures in Baltimore,”

“That’s the one—she’s a dilly, all right. And then there was that huge-acious statue of George Washington that I’ve heard tell so much about. It’s a corker, and no mistake. Course, I don’t entirely cotton to seein’ any man—not even a United States President—stuck way high up on a pedestal that way. It don’t hardly seem right. Though I don’t s’ppose the one we got now would have any objections to bein’ treated in such a manner. Hell, ol’ Andy Jackson already acts so high ’n’ mighty that … why, Cricket, what in tarnation has come over you?”