My eyes fill with very real tears. I don’t want to lose Luke. I’m not sorry I asked him to do this, because I didn’t have a choice. I don’t want to stop seeing him. I don’t want him to empty the drawer I gave him in my bedroom. I want to give him more drawers.

I want him to move in with me. I’ve never felt this way before, but I realize it now. I want him here every night. For the rest of my life.

I can’t lose him over this. I can’t.

Chapter 35

TRICIA

Present Day

The final EJ tape comes to a close. Soon after lunch, I retrieved the rest of the EJ tapes from the hidden room, and now I’ve finished all of them. This last tape is labeled in black, not red like all the other final sessions, but there are no other tapes after this one. And it only goes on for about twenty minutes.

The strangest thing about it is how EJ sounds toward the end of the tape. His voice is almost slurred, but Dr. Hale doesn’t seem the slightest bit concerned. She’s a doctor, for God’s sake. Shouldn’t she be worried that her patient is slurring his speech?

EJ did mention drinking some wine. But if he’s anything like Ethan, even a bottle of wine isn’t enough to get him to slur his speech.

It’s strange.

Now that I have finished the stack of EJ tapes, I decide to take a break. I’ve been listening to tapes in here the entire afternoon, and the sun has now dropped in the sky. It looks like we are definitely going to be spending another night here.

I don’t know what to tell Ethan. He wants to buy this house, but I just can’t imagine it. I love him, but not enough to live here.

I slide off my gold wedding band, remembering the first time Ethan slipped it onto my finger. Years ago, before I knew Ethan, I had been engaged to another man, and we had been planning a giant wedding, but it didn't end up working out. This time, all I wanted was a small, perfect ceremony. It was so intimate, and for a moment, while our eyes locked together at the altar, it was like the two of us were the only people in the world.

Ethan and I are meant for each other. I know it. I want to give him everything he wants, but I don’t know if I can give him this. This house.

I tilt the ring a bit so I can read the inscription. Ethan + Tricia Forever. I love that inscription… I read it sometimes to comfort me. I believe it with all my heart. Ethan and I are made for each other, and we will be together forever. Till death do us part.