“I am sorry, Evelyn,” Amelia said, her features softening when she locked eyes with me. “I know that it was wrong to lash out at No— Ashley when I realized I could not have you.”

“Speaking of that article,” Elle cut in. “How the fuck did you find out about my real name?”

Amelia’s shoulders went up in a helpless shrug. “I was in the library to post another article and when I turned on one of the computers, it was open to this website with pictures of your mom. There was a photo of you when you were younger and below it was your name. Whoever used the computer before me hadn’t turned it off properly.”

“Me,” I whispered, nausea washing over me at the memory.

“That was me. When I googled your mom after finding her name in your magazines.”

Elle’s head whipped around to stare at me.

Before she could even open her mouth, I said, “I’m sorry.

God, I’m so sorry, Elle, this was all my fault—”

“Shut up,” she said, but there wasn’t any heat in her voice. “It wasn’t just you. It was a chain reaction of shitty events. If the news hadn’t spread the information about my location, Kyle wouldn’t have known where to find me. If Amelia hadn’t posted it on The Chitter Chatter, it wouldn’t have been picked up by other news outlets. If I didn’t have my magazines lying around, you wouldn’t have found out about my mom. I could go on.”

Despite her words, I still felt guilt pooling in my stomach.

Elle, who could read my face like an open book by now, noticed.

Grabbing my hand, she said, “Stop blaming yourself. It doesn’t matter now. All of us are okay.”

I turned back to Amelia, who was staring at her feet, hunched over like there was a weight on her shoulders that grew with every passing second. Suddenly, I couldn’t find it in me to be angry with her. Because studying her, all I saw was myself a few months ago; a girl who was insecure, lonely, and full of disgust for herself, who cried while she practiced saying the words Mom, Dad, I think I’m lesbian in the mirror, who didn’t feel like there was a single person in the world who she could talk to. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t had my parents and my new friends? If the ice water had become more and more paralyzing, no one there to help me get out? Maybe I would have turned my hatred outward as well.

“I’m sorry, Amy,” I said after a moment of silence, hoping she could tell I was being sincere. “If I had known, I would have tried to help you come to terms with everything you were feeling. I know how hard it can be, especially when you have no one to talk to about it.”

Amelia looked up at me, her eyes widening a little in surprise.