And I wanted to pleasure her for the rest of our lives.

But she was still speaking. He had to pay attention. That was what true love was.

“Mr. Baxter gave my sisters and I dance lessons.” She shook her head slowly. “He wasn’t even that good a dancer, to be honest. But he knew the steps, and more importantly, how to flatter my mother so she thought we were remarkably lucky to have obtained him as an instructor.”

Griffith’s fists tightened.

“I received a few proposals, but not from anyone my parents deemed worthy of my hand. Thank goodness,” she added in a relieved tone of voice. “At the same time, I felt so lonely. I didn’t want to tell my younger sisters how terrible it all was—I knew they were looking forward to making their own debuts, and I didn’t want to taint their experience. Perhaps it was just me. I didn’t know what Eleanor thought.”

The carriage hit a bump, and they slammed into one another, him tightening his hold on her shoulder. She glanced up into his face and gave him a smile. Then her expression drew serious again, and she looked away, out the opposite window of the carriage. Even though Griffith could tell she wasn’t actually registering what she was seeing out there.

“Mr. Baxter sensed something was wrong. Or perhaps he was just waiting for his opportunity to ensnare me, I don’t know. But during our lessons he was . . . curious about me. What I liked, who I saw, how I felt. I know it was likely just a ruse to get me to trust him, or at least I know that now, but at the time I felt so seen. As though someone in the world understood me, Della, and not just a random duke’s daughter whose best value was in her lineage, not in herself.”

This is what Society does to people, Griffith thought. Tells them they are only worth something because of what they are, not—who they are.

Not that that made sense.

But it was the same reason he had run away, and he was opening his mouth to tell her that when he snapped it closed again.

Right. She didn’t need him to chime in with his own experience. She needed him to listen. He had to be patient.

“I don’t blame him for taking advantage of our situation.”

Even though Griffith did.

“And when it became clear that he had feelings for me, feelings that I believed he couldn’t admit because of our respective positions, I spoke and told him how I felt.”

It stung that she hadn’t told Griffith how she felt about him yet. Although she had asked if he wanted to have an affair, so perhaps he shouldn’t feel too badly. Was that why she was so skittish about sharing herself with him? Because of Baxter?