Back My Life as a Rat
Chapters (63)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. I
  4. The Rat
  5. The Omen: November 2, 1991
  6. Disowned
  7. The Happy Childhood
  8. Best Kisses!
  9. Obituary
  10. “Boys Will Be Boys”
  11. To Die For
  12. “Accident”
  13. Louisville Slugger
  14. The Little Sister
  15. The Promise
  16. The Siege
  17. Because . . .
  18. The Rescue
  19. The Secret I
  20. The Secret II
  21. Final Confession
  22. “Dear Christ What Did Violet Do Now”
  23. The Revelation
  24. The Bat
  25. Safe House
  26. Runaway
  27. II
  28. “Praying for Violet”
  29. Exile
  30. Sleepwalker
  31. The Iceberg
  32. Turnip Face
  33. Sisters
  34. “Mr. Sandman Bring Me a Dream”
  35. “Dirty Girl”
  36. The Stalker: 1997
  37. “You Are Not Wanted”
  38. Dirty Girl
  39. “Violet, Goodbye!”
  40. III
  41. The Scar
  42. The Burrow
  43. Valentine
  44. Keeping Myself Alive
  45. Off the Books
  46. Rat, Waiting
  47. Sorrowful Virgin
  48. Damned Little Dog
  49. Tongue
  50. Uncanny
  51. First Aid
  52. “Maxed-Out”
  53. The Misunderstanding
  54. The Return
  55. In My Mother’s Garden
  56. Forgiveness
  57. The Guilty Sister
  58. Howard Street
  59. Home
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. About the Author
  62. Also by Joyce Carol Oates
  63. About the Publisher

If Jerome’s uncle Tom Kerrigan had stayed out of it, that might’ve been better. But there came old fiery Tommy Kerrigan back into the public eye campaigning—again—and winning—again. You’d wanted to think that the wily old bastard had retired from politics but no, he’d been vehement and energized, winning the Republican primary on a campaign of law and order, fair treatment for all races—meaning that “whites” were being mistreated in South Niagara as elsewhere in the U.S., his own nephews were “victims” of black racism: persecuted because they were white. Such bitterness Tommy Kerrigan stirred up, virtually all of South Niagara was divided: pro-Kerrigan, anti-Kerrigan. He’d singled out no one by name because that wasn’t Tommy Kerrigan’s style but it was implicit that certain black leaders, black ministers, liberal white politicians, were responsible for the gross “miscarriage of justice” that had sent his nephews to prison.

Years later now. Things had quieted down in South Niagara. Tom Kerrigan had retired from politics at last, permanently. Had to be over eighty. He lived in Naples, Florida, with his (much younger) wife, said to be incapacitated by a series of strokes. But one of his Republican protégés was a U.S. congressman and another was preparing to run for state senator. Jerome Kerrigan could not escape the ignominy of his name.

God-damned unfair, he’d always had black friends. Veterans like himself. Race issues hadn’t entered into any of their exchanges for twenty years or more and then suddenly, they stopped seeing one another.

Why his God-damned blood pressure was high. Just thinking about it like poking a sore tooth. Plus money. Always money.

At work that day feeling dazed from the early-morning until late. Head tight. Pounding pulses. Probably not a good idea to stop for a drink but badly needed a drink. Also, the Shamrock was a place where Jerome Kerrigan was known. For himself, not his name or his damned uncle. At the bar, the familiar soothing incantation of complaint. The speech of his friends as it had once been the speech of his elders. A kind of harmony, in complaint. Corrupt politicians, union officials. Whoever happened to be mayor, governor of the state. President of the U.S. Jerome could count on it, he’d know virtually all of the men in the Shamrock beyond a certain age. Young guys he wouldn’t know but older guys, he would. He’d gone to school with some of them. He’d gone out with their sisters, their wives—long ago. His kids knew their kids, or had once. He’d had disagreements with all of them but could not have said what the disagreements were, for the most part. A fixed number of people you know, you can’t feud with all of them but must relent, forgive. Certainly, forget.