“Come on!” he yells to me, the bullets not making it all the way through the glass, so I jump up and I run with him, into the safety of the bedroom.

“Get in the cupboard” He opens the small cupboard doors where my clothes are folded. It is tiny, but there is a small space where I will fit. I don’t question him and get in before he closes the doors, and I hear his footsteps retreat back out the door.

“Be safe,” I whisper to myself in the darkness of the cupboard as the house is now quiet, and I try to slow my breathing to calm myself. We didn’t really talk about what to do if anyone comes here. It is a safe house. Nico told me no one knows we are here. But if the gunfire I heard earlier is anything to go by, I know we are in trouble. With only Nico here to protect me, I am not sure how we are going to get out alive.

Tears begin to fall, my body shaking uncontrollably as I fold myself into my knees, curling up as tightly as I can, wishing upon everything that I don’t die today. It is funny how only weeks ago, I was willing to die, thinking that my end was near anyway, happy to go out while protecting my little boy.

My body jolts as I hear more gunshots, and they appear louder this time. With each pop, I squeeze my eyes shut tighter to try and block out the fear that is building inside of me. As I wriggle my feet a little to get more comfortable, my toes hit my duffle bag. The small bag that contains my life. It is ironic that me and my life fit inside the small wooden robe, and that this may actually be my last resting place.

I begin to pray as that crosses my mind. I don’t want to die. I want to be with Dante. I want to have a life with him, a life I am only now ready to fully live. My life is just beginning, and this time, I don’t want it ripped away.

For the first time in many years, I want to live.

37

Dante

After making my unwilling body leave Little Red’s room this morning, I picked up Sebastian and Carter from the compound. We are now in the car on the way to see one of the families on the Upper East Side, one who we think may know where Dominic is hiding.

“If they know where he is and have kept it from us all this time...” I start to grit out to Sebastian as he looks out of the car window, rubbing his chin.

“We will find him, Dante. I feel that we are close,” Sebastian says, trying to calm me, knowing that I am on the edge and have been for weeks.