“Why, no, Albert Lee.” God, what an awful actor I am. I should have just handed the damn thing to him and hoped he would believe we hadn’t looked in it.

“Well, do you mind if I look in your bathroom? I was thinking it might have slipped out in there.”

“You’re welcome to look. I hope it’s there. I lost my billfold at Sears several years ago and I was in a panic, but some nice lady found it and turned it in to Lost and Found. Everything was there, credit cards and all. I thought for sure I was going to have to call and cancel them.”

He stood there looking at me. Oh, God. He knew I knew. It was the babbling.

“May I come in?”

“Of course.”

“I can’t get by you.”

“Oh, pardon.” I moved aside.

“Is something wrong?”

“I just had some bad news.” I hoped to hell he didn’t ask me what. I was too rattled to come up with something sensible.

“I’m sorry. Well, I won’t be but a minute.”

I watched him turn and go down the hall. Maybe I was wrong. He was an English teacher, for God’s sake. English teachers didn’t go around murdering people. Even English teachers who looked like Rip van Winkle. Sister was right. The Chandler Mountain booger was a joke.

“Here it is,” he said, coming back holding up the wallet. “Thank goodness.”

“Thank goodness,” I echoed. I was still reminding myself that he was an English teacher not a murderer as he said goodbye and stepped onto the porch. But just as I was about to close the door, he turned and asked if he could get the Tupperware bowl that he had brought the soup in. He had promised his mother he would bring it back.

“Of course. I should have thought of it. I’ll get it for you.”

“And could I bother you for some water? I took some aspirin a while ago for a headache and they’re stuck about halfway down.”

An English teacher. Not a murderer.

“Come on back to the kitchen. You want a Coke?”

Sister was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper.

“Morning, Albert Lee,” she said. “What brings you out this early?”

“Morning, Mrs. Crane. I dropped my wallet in Mrs. Hollowell’s hall bathroom yesterday afternoon.”

“Well, I declare. I’m glad you found it.”

“So am I.”

“Sit down,” Sister said, pushing a chair back with her foot. “How’s your mama?”

“Fine.” Then, “Just water, Mrs. Hollowell. Thanks.

“I’ve got an aspirin stuck halfway down,” he explained to Sister.

“I hate when that happens. You need to get the coated kind.”