I told her that I was feeling pretty good, that Fred had brought me a couple of aspirin, coffee, and the morning paper before he left, and I was still in bed but considering getting up.

“Did your mama tell you she hit a mailbox?” I couldn’t resist.

“You’re kidding. No, I swear she told me a tree, Aunt Pat.” Debbie giggled. “You gonna let her live it down?”

“I’m storing it away for future use. How’s Brother?”

“He slept two straight hours last night. I guess that’s progress. Have you heard from Haley?”

“I haven’t turned on the computer since yesterday morning. I think they’ll be back from Rome today.” I hesitated. “I don’t think I’ll tell her about the snake and the wreck.” I thought for a moment. “Well, about the wreck. I can’t resist. But not why it happened. No use worrying her.”

“I can’t believe somebody put a big rattlesnake in Mama’s car. And that it bit her.”

“She lucked out with the gloves,” I admitted.

“I trust the two of you are going to stay away from Chandler Mountain?”

“You trust right. Virgil Stuckey is welcome to Chandler Mountain and all the goings-on up there. Incidentally, Debbie, I think I heard him call Sister, ‘my baby.’ You really may get yourself a stepfather out of this one.”

“Lord have mercy, Aunt Pat. How does the woman do it?”

“Haley says it’s pheromones and the woman ought to bottle them.”

We hung up laughing. At least Debbie was laughing. My ribs were too painful. Go back to Chandler Mountain? No way. I took the phone off the hook, turned gingerly on my side, and went back to sleep with no thought of the old saying about the mountains coming to Mohammed. A good thing or I wouldn’t have slept so soundly.

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter
Nineteen

E-MAIL

FROM: HALEY

TO: MAMA AND PAPA

SUBJECT: ROME

The pope actually spoke to me, y’all. He said, “How do you do, Mrs. Nachman.” Isn’t that incredible? “How do you do, Mrs. Nachman.” We’ve been married five months and I think it was the first time that I really felt like Mrs. Nachman, not like Haley Hollowell Buchanan pretending to be Haley Nachman. And he held out his hand and I didn’t think I was supposed to shake it so I held out my hand to let him take the initiative and he took it in both of his and just held it. And he asked where we were from and I told him Birmingham, Alabama, and he said he had heard it was a beautiful city and I said it is, that it’s mountainous and green and he should come visit us. And then he asked if I wanted him to bless me and I said yes, and could he include my family. Which he did, so all of you are blessed.