‘Everyone feels a bit like that when life takes a difficult turn. I know I did when, well, you know, when your father went off the rails. The girl was twenty-one years old, for goodness’ sake. Maybe they’re all as unreliable as each other. Or perhaps we’ve both been unlucky. There must be some good men out there somewhere.’

Megan stretched and yawned, pushing her mug aside, still three-quarters full. She closed her eyes for a second or two before opening them again, glancing at the clock.

‘Are you still there, Meg?’

‘Yes, I’m still here. I nearly drifted off. I've taken a sleeping tablet.’

‘Give me a ring after breakfast. We can talk again then. Why don’t you come and visit? I’ve bought Lottie a new colouring book. You know, one of the ones she likes with the shiny stickers. I’d love to see you both.’

‘I did say I’d take her swimming and then call with you on the way home. She wants to feed the fish.’

‘I’m in all day, call any time, you’re always welcome.’

‘Thanks, Mum, I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

‘I love you too. I’ll see you in a few hours’ time. Now, it’s late, off you go to bed. Things will get better, promise. Nothing lasts forever, not even this.’

3

Megan woke at just after seven that morning, as a shard of bright sunshine broke through the marble clouds, bathing the house in light. The events of the night came into sharp focus, playing behind her eyes as if in real-time, as she went to hug her daughter. Megan turned first one way and then the other, reaching out to pull Lottie close. But all she found was the soft toy, lying next to her under the quilt. Megan was on full alert in that instant, her protective mothering instincts sending adrenaline surging through her system, energy and blood redirected to her muscles as she sat up.

Megan’s eyes darted from one corner of the room to the next, to right, to left and back again, every instinct telling her that something was amiss. Where was Lottie? Where on earth was she? She usually slept until woken. And on those rare occasions when she’d been the first to wake, she’d called out ‘Mum!’, sought her out and shaken her.

Megan jumped from the bed, checking the bathroom first without success, and then Lottie’s room, hoping she may be playing with her dolls, but no, she wasn’t there either. Megan called out Lottie’s name, once, then again, louder this time, with concern in her tone. But Lottie didn’t reply.

Where is she? Where on earth is she? Megan hurried downstairs two steps at a time, her blood pressure soaring to a savage high as her anxiety continued to escalate. Megan called out her daughter’s name time and again as she rushed from one room to the next, but all was silence. A strange pervasive silence that seemed to mock her, sending imaginary icy fingers running up and down her spine as she continued her search.