Tonight we’d gone for a classier look to shake things up from our normal hard rock image. I wore a strapless, black-and-white sheath dress, while the guys all wore black suits, thin ties, and white shirts. Each of them looked striking, from Kyle with his black hair slicked back and tattoos peeking above his collar, to Hector with his dark curls and broad shoulders filling out his jacket. And then there was Jared, looking almost—but not quite—a gentleman tonight. His blue eyes had a touch of dark liner, his shirt was open just enough to give a glimpse of his neck, and his tailored pants showed off every perfect angle. He looked amazing in a suit, and it killed me that I couldn’t have him.

Our Loaded River song with Dan was the first performance of the night. Our mentor played bass, and though he normally sang “Nothing Breaks Me,” he only chimed in on the chorus and let Jared take over. Without an instrument, Jared was free to flirt with the crowd and make love to the mic, and it took all my effort to not throw my guitar down and drag him off stage so we could be alone together. I knew what Jared looked like under those clothes, how his touch felt on my bare skin, how it sounded to hear him moan my name. Being so close and yet so far from him was pure torture.

I focused on the audience instead, and as they sang along with each word, I realized how lucky I was to be there, standing on stage with Dan Dorian of Loaded River. No matter what happened tonight, playing beside one of my idols would always be one of the greatest moments of my life.

After the song, Dan returned to his seat in front of the stage with the other mentors. We all glowed with sweat and excitement, like some of the dark clouds hanging over us had dissipated. Maybe, just maybe, we’d make it into the next round.

The guys went to the lounge to relax before our next song, but I needed to cool off away from Jared. On stage, The Static Klingons performed their song for the “Tainted Love” theme of the night, Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” Sean’s vocals and the band’s faster tempo made it a bit more upbeat than the original version, but I liked it. I cheered for them with the audience and waited for Sean backstage when they finished.

“There you are!” he said. We moved out of the way of the roadies setting up for the next band, and a camera crew followed us. Never a private moment, not this close to the end of the show.

“That was so good,” I said. “You’re definitely getting into the finals.”

“Thanks, Maddie.”