I put on my black sunglasses and got into a taxi that took me to Daoura Circle. From there, I entered Armenia Street at its far eastern end, and soon I found the store I was looking for, with all its signs in languages that only foreign customers understood.

The Sri Lankan employee hurried up to me and asked, surprised, what I needed. I handed him Shaygha’s piece of paper, written in her own language. I thought he would hand it back, but instead, he inspected it closely and then began passing up and down the aisles, dropping bags, packages, and different kinds of vegetables into a basket he hung from his arm. I watched the street through the glass storefront. Luqman’s shop was not far away. I could pass by it and then catch a taxi in the next street back to Achrafieh. Suddenly, my heart was beating faster, and my knees felt weak. It occurred to me that I was a fool for believing that Luqman hadn’t recognized me before, and that he had abandoned the idea of killing me after I had tried to kill him years before.

I turned back to the Sri Lankan and asked him to hurry. “I have to go. I have an important meeting.” He added two more items to the basket and declared loudly that he had finished the entire list, that nothing was missing. After packing everything into some bags, he asked if he could go with me to my car, then was very surprised to learn that I didn’t have one. I paid the bill with the Lebanese employee at the register—who scarcely turned to look at me—and went outside to look for a taxi. I decided I wouldn’t pass by Luqman’s shop at all, even though I knew he wasn’t usually there in the morning. I’d take the first taxi and go straight home.

Suddenly, I was intensely thirsty. I crossed the narrow street to the juice shop across the way and ordered a large carrot juice. Taking shelter inside the shop, I set down my bags and waited as my drink was being prepared. When it came, I drank it in one go. I still felt thirsty, so I bought a cold glass of premade lemonade, which I picked because I couldn’t wait. I drank it desperately, but the persistent thirst still did not go away. Next I bought a bottle of water, which I also drank in one gulp. Finally, my thirst subsided, which helped clear my mind to figure out what to do with myself—and make the decision to go where I had decided not to go.