“No. I would have preferred that bit of history stay buried in the snows of Korea. For the sake of those boys’ families. Now the media won’t stop digging until they figure out who died in that ambulance. I’m sure their parents are all dead, which is a blessing, but there’ll be brothers and sisters who’ll suffer when they learn what happened.”

“Dad, this isn’t going to sound noble, but you’ve got to start thinking about yourself. And if not yourself, then the rest of us. Your family is suffering. Do you understand that?”

“I do.”

He’s still not looking at me. I hear my voice rising, but I can’t stop myself. “If the Double Eagles have threatened us, tell me. I’ll get us protected until I find a way to put them behind bars.”

“You can’t protect your family against men like that. Life doesn’t mean the same thing to them that it does to us. They’ll take risks normal people won’t. They know people who’ll kill Annie in exchange for a day’s supply of methamphetamine.”

“So that’s it, then? That’s the reason you’re doing all this? You’re exchanging your life for our safety?”

I don’t realize how badly I need to hear a yes to that question until he says, “If my going to prison ensures that you and Annie and Jenny and your mother will be safe from now on . . . I’m happy to go. I almost died last October, Penn. I’ll be lucky to live another year, even with the best care.”

“Stop talking like that! This is like committing suicide because you can’t take the pain when a cure might be possible.”

As my voice reverberates in the tiled bathroom, Dad steps away from the sink and squeezes my upper arm. “No, it’s not. I can endure pain. But there are things I couldn’t endure. I’ve had three months to think about all this. The hardest thing has been not being able to tell you the whole truth. I hope that by the end of this ordeal, you’ll understand. But right now, I can’t go beyond a certain point.”

“Even with all that’s at stake?”

“No. Because of it.”

A deputy bangs on the door, then opens it a crack. “One minute till the recess is over, Doc.”