“She could have shot you. I’ve got to tell you, I’m surprised she didn’t.”

“I’m not,” Abel said. “I knew she couldn’t do it.”

“She should have.”

“Yeah, I won’t argue that.”

“Jesus, what happened to you that you’d pull a suicide act like that?”

“Like I said, I guess I just went nuts. I was coming off a really bad time. Really bad one this time, Pete. Tons of blackouts, waking up in strange places, getting arrested for vagrancy, drunk and disorderlies.”

“They’re not on your rap sheet.”

“They were in small towns—east and north of L.A. God only knows how I got there. You know, I can tell when I’m gonna have a low period. The memories start in my sleep. Then I start seeing things during the day, hearing gunshots every time a car backfires. My mind goes on strike until the memories start fading. Then I come out of it. And I was coming out of this one, too. But then this rape thing…”

Abel didn’t continue his thought, and Decker didn’t say anything. He’d almost made the case, but almost wasn’t good enough. He waited for Abel to speak.

“You bailing me out.” Abel spun the beer can on the tabletop. “Then, looking at me like I was a criminal…I thought to myself, Who are you to judge me? Then I saw Rina looking at me in the same way. Why’d you tell her?”

“I had to,” Decker said.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Hey, I did what I thought was right.”

“Even if it meant making me look like a jerk.”

“Buddy, you did that to yourself.”

“I didn’t rape that whore.”

“I’m not saying you did,” Decker said. “But you fucked her. You want to stay out of trouble, you don’t fuck whores.”

“Thank you, Reverend Decker…uh, excuse me—Rabbi Decker.”

“Abe, this is pointless.”

“Truce,” Abel said waving the gooseneck lamp. “Look, I know I shouldn’t ask you to do this, but I wrote something to Rina. Can you give it to her for me?”

“She left for New York last night,” Decker said. “Glad to get out of here.”

“Did I mess things up between you?”

“We’re okay. No thanks to you though.”

“Can you mail the letter for me? I don’t even want to know her address.”

“What’d you write?”

“You can read it,” Abel said. “No cheap excuses. Just a note of pure apology.” He paused, then said, “You tell her what the deal was?”

Decker didn’t answer right away. Finally, he said, “No…no, I just couldn’t. I fudged. I told her we had a big blowout over a girl.” Decker laughed hollowly. “Talk about a bad choice of words.”

Abel said, “Why didn’t you tell her?”