We have a cake tasting scheduled, flower choices to make, and event coordinators to meet with. Typically, these things would have already been decided, but Sondra couldn’t be any less interested in choosing the mundane stuff—her words. So, she’s convinced the very uptight wedding coordinator that the resort provided to wait until we arrive so I can help her choose. And by help, she means choose for her.

“I’ve been looking forward to getting the hell out of dodge for weeks now,” I tell her. “Don’t tell me the wedding is off. I’ll murder you both.”

I pick up my water bottle and empty its contents into a half-dead plant on the ledge of a small circle window in the wall opposite my desk.

“No, no, of course not. The wedding is still on… Wait, what was the context in which someone actually wrote labia lungs?”

“Are you sure you want to hear this? Fair warning, if you just ate, you may vomit all over yourself…”

“I am one hundred percent invested in this. Vomiting all over myself is a risk I’m going to have to take. Twat have I got to lose?”

“Alright, but clits a doozy. He made her heart dance enthusiastically and her vagina sing at the top of its labia lungs...”

“Nooooo,” she breathes. “That is magnificent. Just magnificent.”

“I agree. I love it so much. If I thought I wouldn’t get fired, I’d bind the book myself so I could keep it in my private library. Diesel Stone, you romance god, you.”

“Diesel Stone? Stop it. Stop it right now.”

A laugh bubbles in my chest. “Alright, points for disarming me. Now, what’s the bad news?”

“Oh, points happily accepted. Anyway, Preston’s Grandmother died.”

“Oh, no!” I gasp.

“Ehh, she was a judgmental old bitch. But Preston’s family dynamic is a little off-kilter. He’s her executor and kind of the only person left in the world who gave a damn about her.”

“Is he okay? What a terrible time for this to happen.”

“He’s fine. Barely flinched. She was ninety-seven—”

“Ninety-seven! Grandma, you rockstar! I’ll send over a fresh snatch of cookies.”

Sondra chuckles. “Cookies are good, but I prefer muffins.”

“You got it, babe,” I say, returning a chuckle.

“So, here’s the thing, I’m going to stay at Preston’s for a few days to play buffer to the torrent of family that’s headed his way. Family that wasn’t exactly invited to the wedding.”

“Oh, awkward. So you want me to drive up alone? That’s fine—”

“There’s more. You can stay in the suite I booked for us. But you won’t be staying there alone…”

“Okay…” Keith isn’t coming up for two more days because he has a project he’s overseeing at work. And Dottie couldn’t get the time off till the end of the week. “Who’s staying with me?”

“Preston’s best man and childhood best friend, Aleck Fox. I know it’s not ideal to stay with a guy you don’t know, but he’s… nice.” She handles the word “nice” with kid gloves. “I may not be there in time to go to a few appointments with you, so I figured you could use the help. Also, the resort is booked because there’s a wedding this weekend so he couldn’t get another room. And please just do it without giving me shit—”