I take a quick step toward him, straightening my spine. “Helping you in a way that you refused to let me help when you never returned my calls or texts? You pushed me out of your life and welcomed her in. You can see how I’d be reluctant to give a shit about anything you have to say?”

“Yes, I can see that. The only reason I called her is because she’s a therapist. She’s been helping me work through some things in my life that have been holding me back. But Rebecca has nothing to do with this, she’s irrelevant here. I pushed you away because I thought, in the long run, I’d make you miserable. Even if you make me so fucking happy I want to puke. I was trying not to be selfish. I thought if I hurt you by slipping out and not calling you back, you’d realize I’m a piece of shit—”

“Mission accomplished. Congratulations.”

Aleck’s shoulders sink. His lips part, close, then part again. “I can never take back my decision to end things with us—”

“End things?” I snap. “You didn’t end things, Aleck, you disappeared. You didn’t even have enough courage to tell me it was over, you just… left.”

His brow dips and his arms tense in front of him. “I know. You’re right. I was a coward. But you should know, I didn’t leave you behind because I wanted to. I did what I thought was the best thing for you.”

“For me? Aleck, I have been miserable—”

“So have I!” Aleck pushes off the couch, standing tall now.

I walk into my kitchen, threading my fingers through my hair, needing to feel some distance between us. But Aleck follows, standing opposite me at the counter. If he took three steps, his breath would mix with mine.

“Winter, I don’t expect you to understand my reasoning for not waking you up before leaving or calling you back because it’s faulty at best. I know that. I’m fucked up, okay? I never claimed to have my shit together, and you know I’ve never done this with anyone before. I’ve never cared about anyone. I wasn’t lying the night before when I said we’d figure it out. I wasn’t lying when I said you were mine. You were, you are… I don’t know what I was planning, but I wasn’t planning on leaving you behind.”

Seconds pass, the silence so loud my ears ring. “Well, you did,” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me.

Aleck steps closer, but his muscles tense when he stops himself from comforting me. My chest aches and constricts until my ribs feel the pressure of protecting my heart.

“I know I did.” He nods. “When I got the call about my dad, I reverted to who I used to be. That person was responsible for no one. That person survived by being selfish and processed emotions by staying in control.” He backs up against the counter and uncrosses his arms, gripping the edge until his knuckles turn white. “You make me feel anything but controlled, Winter. I took one look at you lying in that bed, and this voice that I always hear told me I didn’t deserve you. That I would only crush you under my weight and snuff out your light. So I turned and left, and I tried so fucking hard not to look back.”