Water stings my lips and trickles into my mouth. I choke. A hand tightens underneath my shoulders. I struggle against the lead weights of my eyelids and open them to a sky no longer white, but navy and strewn with sapphires. Duval kneels beside me, holding the bottle of water. Behind him Benjamín hovers.

‘Santo Toribio,’ I whisper. I try to smile and my lip splits in two. ‘You heard us.’

‘Don’t talk.’

‘You heard us.’

‘Yes.’ He takes the weight of my head against his shoulder. ‘I heard you.’

‘On the radio?’

‘Shh.’

‘What happened to Hogan?’

‘Alice . . .’

‘You found us. I can’t believe you found us.’

‘Hush now,’ he says, but I hear the catch in his voice.

The horses stand a little way off, snickering at a half moon. Duval has lit a fire. He cleans and bandages Benjamín’s shoulder. The sight of the gash, blackened and crusted takes my breath away. Afterwards he washes the cut on my head.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I say.

‘For what?’

‘Winfred... I—‘

‘It’s not your fault.’

‘I should never have trusted Chavez.’

‘How could you have known? No one knew.’

‘If I’d gone with the children, none of this would have happened.’

‘But you stayed.’ He strokes my hair. ‘With all the reasons in the world to run, you stayed.’

31

Benjamín dozes fitfully. The fire burns and I feel safe in Duval’s arms. He holds me and tells me to sleep but I’m afraid to. There aren’t many hours left for us. He touches his finger to the cut on my forehead.

‘How bad did he hurt you?’

I hear the edge in his voice. I’m not sure which question he’s asking. I’m not even sure Benjamín has told him but it doesn’t make any difference, the answer is the same.

‘Not in any way that mattered.’

‘I thought I’d lost you,’ he says flatly. ‘When I found the truck I thought you were dead. Then I found the body. I saw his face. I’ve never known Benjamín raise his voice, let alone his hand .. . I guessed then who it must be but I couldn’t be sure. All these years I never knew what he looked like. Turrón was just another ghost I was chasing.’ He stops abruptly, turns his head away. ‘Can you ever forgive me?’

‘There’s nothing to forgive. You changed everything for me. You gave me my escape.’

‘But not your reality.’

I press my face into his neck, wondering how I can ever give up this man.