Anyone who has ever tried to change a habit knows how hard it can be. The new girlfriend moves in and wants you to stop leaving your toothbrush on the bathroom sink, perpetually annoyed to find it in the same place months after she admonished you for failing to put it away. It’s not that you don’t care. You just don’t even really notice where you’re putting it anymore. You have been brushing your teeth in that bathroom for five years, putting your toothbrush down in the exact same place every day. You aren’t trying to be disrespectful or cause problems in the relationship. But she takes this toothbrush business pretty personally.

Similar events happen in your relationship with your dog. Some of your dog’s behavior works out pretty well for her and is repeated, becoming a habit over time that could ultimately drive you crazy. For no reason you can identify, she has broken out of her crate every day since you adopted her, chewing up at least one valuable item (remote control, your diary, a pair of new shoes) each time you leave home. She barks and jumps frantically whenever you walk through the door. She has eaten eight pairs of underwear this month and chased at least one hot guy out of your life. She ignores your yelling and pleading amid tears of exasperation. It feels personal. She has been with you for six months now, so she should relax and trust that you will come home. Why won’t she learn?

She has learned. She has learned well. In fact, she’s got escaping from a crate down to a science—because she was left for excessive periods of time in a crate at her last home, and she perfected her skills. In her previous home, chewing things up apparently continued to bring people back; and it relieved a great deal of frustration after ten hours of confinement in a box. Jumping all over the humans upon their return gets a response: the undivided attention she’d been craving for hours in their absence. Just because she is in a healthy home with you now—crated only for short periods of time, exercised extensively, spoiled with chew toys, and indulged with attention—does not mean that these habitual responses to being left alone will simply vanish.

Replacing the Ritual

THE SITUATION: Your dog goes crazy, jumping and shrieking, at the front door every time you have guests over.

WHAT YOU DO: Keep your dog behind a baby gate when guests first enter your house and give your dog a long-lasting, exclusive “visitor bone”. Eating scrumptious butcher bones can totally redefine the meaning of company and may finally break the cycle of craziness at the front door. After several times of experiencing this, your dog will begin to associate visitors with the anticipation of receiving a yummy goody.