Imagine, for a moment, a young lion approaches a watering hole to find a herd of zebra drinking from the same hole. The lion has a learned response (genetically and very likely, from his own experience) to the sight of a zebra. Few things are more meaningful to a hungry lion than an easy meal. But let’s also say that there has been a recent drought, and the lion has traveled for miles in search of water. In this instance, even the strong association of zebra and food is subject to conditions. The circumstances of the dry season (environment) have caused the lion to prioritize the desire for water over the desire for food. For now, the sight of that baby zebra straying from its mother is of little interest. The more important element to the lion is the water. The meaning of something deeply ingrained can be changed in an instant when the conditions warrant it.

It might just be survival economics, but this it-depends-on-the-circumstances business can be really frustrating when you’re screaming “Come!” repeatedly to your dog as he ignores you in pursuit of the jogger. A moment ago he was responding beautifully as you practiced his new command in the front yard. It all changed when the guy ran past the house. Now you’d think Tonka had never heard the word before.

Meaning, like everything else, is not static. It’s no personal insult to you when your boyfriend fails to hear a word you have said about your horrible day when the big game is on. Likewise, your dog is usually just going about his business, merrily searching for rabbit poop in the leaves, when you call him desperately to come back inside. When any partner ignores you, it doesn’t necessarily indicate that you are unloved or no longer meaningful to them. It just means that, at least for that moment, the lizard brain has filtered you out for something more important. He still loves you, even as he chases the jogger down the street.

Your own deep quest for meaning in life (and that arguably simpler search that your dog is on) is just classical conditioning at work for the benefit of survival. Baggage, it turns out, has an evolutionary purpose: to keep us all safe, sound, well-fed, and productive in the world. It’s not nearly as personal as we make it out to be. Just the recognition of this universal process can save any relationship a great deal of unnecessary misunderstanding.

Meaning and L.E.G.S.® in Action

Learning