“You two sound so jaded,” said Nory.

“I’m not jaded,” said Pippa. “I’ve just spent the last ten years explaining on an almost daily basis why I don’t want children. I’m tired of having to excuse myself. I shouldn’t have to. And it’s only getting worse the older I get because now every bugger seems to think they can hear my biological clock ticking. Someone asked me the other day if I’d considered freezing my eggs because I might change my mind! I don’t know what makes everyone feel, A: that they have shares in my uterus; and B: that I don’t know my own mind.”

“I’ll tell you this much: If I do end up having kids, I won’t be packing them off to boarding school for the entirety of their childhood,” said Ameerah. “They’ll go to private school, obviously, but they won’t board.”

“Somehow I can’t picture you as a stay-at-home mummy,” said Pippa.

“I didn’t say I’d give up work; I’ll have a nanny, or a stay-at-home husband. But my children and I will always share the same postcode.”

“How very new-age hippie of you,” said Pippa dryly.

Jenna extracted herself from Guy’s probing conversation and came over. “Doesn’t everyone look lovely,” she said. “I’m so pleased everyone made the effort to dress up.”

“I feel like a tightly packed sausage,” Nory complained. “If I get any hotter someone better prick me so that I don’t burst.”

“She’s not getting on with the Spanx,” Ameerah stage-whispered.

“It’s all right for you, you don’t need to wear them,” Nory hissed back.

“Everyone wears them, darling,” said Jenna. “If you gathered up all the hidden spandex on the red carpet you could make a trampoline the size of the Shetland Islands. I should know.”

“They make them for men too, you know. My father wears them for formal occasions,” Pippa added.

Nory tried and failed to imagine Pippa’s dad in hold-you-in pants.

“Speaking of formal occasions,” Jenna began. “One of my cousins is getting a divorce . . . and he’ll be at the wedding!”

She beamed at Nory as she said this, and Nory recognized the glint in her eye.

“Your poor cousin,” she replied, ignoring the inference. “I expect he’ll need time to recover from his marriage breakdown.”

Jenna completely ignored her. “He’s forty, very fit, always at the gym. No children. Works in finance.”

“Is he attractive?” asked Ameerah. “Nory won’t go for just any old soon-to-be-divorced cousin, you know.”

“Of course he’s attractive!” said Jenna. “That goes without saying. My family have very good genes.”

“This is excellent news!” Pippa clapped. “Bring on Operation Get Nory Laid.”

“Oh my god!” Nory laughed. “Really?”

“Darling, you’ve had so little action lately, the love police have sent out a search party to find your sex life,” Pippa teased.