Nory was barged for the second time in as many seconds by Elsa, the OK! rep, who materialized seemingly from nowhere, looking chic in a Chanel poncho, followed by a nervous waiter carrying a tray of coffees.

“Here!” said Elsa triumphantly.

“Thank god!” cried Prue, and the two women exchanged air-kisses before perching themselves on either side of Jenna’s bed like two stone lion gate guardians.

“Right,” said Pippa, seeing her opportunity, “I’m off.” She slipped past Nory into the hall. “See you at the school tour, if I get time.”

Charles was hot on Pip’s heels. “Too much estrogen in here for me.” He grimaced on his way past Nory.

Jenna finished with whoever it was she was roasting over the phone and allowed herself to be enthusiastically consoled by Elsa and Prue. Nory, who had been hovering while the trembling waiter took orders for egg white omelets and smoked salmon, stepped forward as he left.

“Ahem, Jenna?”

Elsa’s and Prue’s heads swiveled toward Nory and regarded her like two tawny owls eyeing up a mouse.

“This probably isn’t a great time, but I said I’d tell you, although it’s nothing to worry about and it’s all in hand.”

“Nory, what are you talking about?” Jenna asked, perplexed.

“It’s about the salad . . .”

“The what?” asked Jenna. Her head was cocked to one side, her expression asking, Why are you bothering me?

Nory’s palms felt clammy. She could feel disapproving glares coming from Elsa and Prue. “The wedding salad, the salad for the starter.”

“Nory, why are you talking to me about salad leaves?”

“Well, the thing is, a deer ate them. But it’s all okay; Isaac has managed to source enough locally for it not to be a problem. He just wanted to let you know because you’d asked for homegrown and it won’t be homegrown, but it will be up-the-road-grown, which is equally as good. So, you don’t need to worry, it’s all good, the problem has been nipped in the proverbial bud.” Nory smiled widely to illustrate that there was no cause for alarm.

Jenna blinked slowly like a cat. “A deer.”

“Yes.”

“Why would a deer want to eat my salad?”

“Maybe it was on a diet?” Nory suggested.

Nobody laughed. Tough crowd! she thought.

Quite suddenly and dramatically Jenna threw herself back onto the pillows and gave a sigh so sorrowful it was as though a tortured specter had just entered the room.

“This wedding is a disaster,” she moaned. “Both the groomsmen have got double black eyes, I’m being eclipsed by bloody Juliet bloody Finnegan, and a deer ate my salad!”

Pippa walked back into the room and stood next to Nory as Jenna began punching a pillow and wailing, “I hate deer!”

“Congratulations,” said Pippa. “You broke the bride.”