“Three times, actually,” Deet said.

“We failed to eliminate you three times,” Oh One continued, “but We will not do so again.”

“If you’ll excuse me,” Rogers said, edging toward the door that Oh One was blocking. He was just far enough into the room that Rogers could probably slip out if he sucked in his gut enough. “I have a ship to catch.”

Oh One swung his disruptor rifle at Rogers.

“I’ll just stay right here,” Rogers said.

Deet took a couple of measured steps forward and looked squarely at Oh One. For a moment, the air in the room seemed to freeze over.

“It seems you and I have an anomaly to correct,” Deet said.

“It would seem that way, yes,” Oh One said.

Deet pointed at Oh One’s disruptor rifle with one of his mismatched arms.

“Let’s settle this,” he said, “like droids.”

After a long, pregnant silence in which Rogers was absolutely certain he was about to be turned into a burning pile of organic matter, Oh One opened his chest compartment and put the rifle away.

“So be it,” Oh One said, and his arms started spinning.

“Oh, not this again,” Rogers said as Deet’s own windmill began.

They didn’t listen to him. Deet took two steps forward and the mind-numbing clattering began.

“God-damn it, Deet!” Rogers shouted, barely able to hear himself. “You couldn’t have let him come to you? Now you’re both blocking the door! I need to get to my ship.”

“This will be over in a moment!” Deet said, his voice taking on that weird, mythological quality. “I am the glowing pillar of righteousness!”

“What does that even mean?” Rogers said, throwing his arms in the air.

Oh One, thankfully, said nothing as the two robots engaged in the monumentally boring and loud practice of droid fu. A few seconds later, the sparks began.

A few seconds after that, those sparks landed on the pillows and blankets that littered the control room.

“Um,” Rogers said, stamping out a pillow. “Guys?”

Neither of them was listening, and neither of them seemed to care about the inferno that sprang up around them. Rogers started an intricate dance, leaping from small fire to small fire, trying to put out whatever he could, but the flames were spreading rapidly, the spark cloud immediately reigniting anything he managed to extinguish. The small room was starting to get very hot.

“Get out of the doorway!” Rogers shouted as he leapt over a flaming stuffed animal. He tried to push all the flammable items to one corner of the room so that he wouldn’t be completely surrounded by flames, but by the time he thought of doing that, the room was already bathed in a red glow. If Deet and Oh One didn’t finish this up soon, he’d die of smoke inhalation. The fire suppression system had kicked on, but the meager sprinkling was never designed to douse the collective contents of eight master bedrooms. Now he was just wet and sweaty and probably going to die.