He thought about the most recent argument he and Vera had had.

“At last, I’ll get to do what I’ve wanted to do for my whole life,” Vera had said. “No more being chained down by land and cows and...” She waved her hand. “All things to do with a farm.”

She’d been wildly excited that she had a job with Joe Harding. “He wants you and me to go to Tibet with him.” Vera’s eyes were like headlamps. “Isn’t that wonderful?”

“Yeah, great,” Miguel said.

“What is wrong with you?” Vera had nearly yelled. “I thought this was what you wanted to do. You’ve been involved in the protests and you said you wanted to do it on a global scale. But now you seem reluctant.”

They were in the cellar. It wasn’t the same now that outsiders knew about it, but it was the only place they had. He turned to her. “What if I said I don’t want to live in Africa? That I don’t want to leave Kansas?”

“Is that what you are saying?”

“If Kelly and Adam marry, they’ll live in his house and your mother will be alone. Paul isn’t going to run your family’s farm, so what if you and I move in there instead? I have some ideas about farming that Uncle Rafe says are too progressive.”

“Is that what you want to do?” She was whispering.

“I’m thinking about it. Would it be too horrible to stay here?” He took her hands in his. “To have children and see them grow up?”

“No,” she said softly. “I guess it wouldn’t be.”

“I’ll go with you wherever you want. I can’t lose you again.” He turned away. “I need to go. I have to—” He couldn’t think of anything he had to do except think. He needed to put everything together and sort it out. What to do with his life? He didn’t like Rafe being so upset with him. Didn’t like feeling that he’d lied to Gabrielle, that he’d toyed with her for his own amusement. He didn’t like how he’d misled Kelly.

Miguel thought he was becoming someone who wasn’t him.

For the next week and a half he avoided Vera. She called, even stopped by the house, but he stayed away from her. He worked from before daylight until long after. He dug holes at Paul’s place and even spent a couple of nights sleeping in his shed. It seemed that Paul had had the same idea because he’d fixed it up with a cot and a hot plate.

Guess Paul needed a place to think about his problems with Kelly, Miguel thought.