Speaking of my childhood.

I had no intention of dealing with her today, so I sent the call to voicemail and put my phone back. I struggled with the zipper, and before I could even get it closed, my phone went off again.

“Damn,” I muttered, irritated that my mother couldn’t take a hint. But this time, my brother Nathan’s name lit up the screen instead.

I hit answer. “What’s up, bro?”

“Do you know that when you ignore our mother’s calls, they end up going straight to me?” Impatience coursed through his voice.

I chuckled. “Thought you could field some for me, you know, since I’ve been taking the brunt of her love all these years.”

I almost choked on the word love. I knew it was probably the driving force behind most of her actions, but it still left a bitter taste in my mouth.

“I don’t have time to talk to her,” Nathan grunted. “I’m working on a new project and she’ll keep me on the phone for an hour, wondering if you’re alright.”

I winced. “Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, well, you were always the favorite.”

I exhaled slowly. There was no point in arguing that. My mother had always chosen me growing up, while our father had chosen Nathan. It was how things had always been. That divide had driven a significant wedge between Nathan and me, but we’d managed to work through our differences in recent years.

“You talk to Dad at all?” I asked. I hadn’t heard from the man in forever. He’d forgotten my annual birthday call this past year, and I hadn’t bothered to call him for Christmas.

“He called to ask me about an investment opportunity last month. It was a really heartfelt conversation,” Nathan said sarcastically.

“Good old Dad,” I said with a dry chuckle.

“Yeah, well. What else is new?” I could hear Nathan typing on the other end of the phone. “I thought things were okay with you and Mom, though.”

“They’re fine.” And things were fine. Kind of.

“If they were fine, you’d take her calls.”

I unhooked the chin strap of my helmet, suddenly feeling suffocated by it. “I talked to her a couple of weeks ago. And I always answer her texts…eventually.”

The truth was, ever since Nathan and I had mended our relationship, all of my mother’s flaws had become a hell of a lot more apparent to me. She’d always seemed so fun and lighthearted growing up. The complete opposite of my father. He and Nathan were all logic and ambition.

So our family dynamic had always been my mother and me against the two of them. I hadn’t realized quite how fucked up that was until I’d finally moved out. Then our parents got divorced in the least surprising twist of the century. And now that Nathan and I were closer, it was us against our parents. The way it honestly always should have been.

I couldn’t take talking to my mother lately. She was an expert at playing the martyr and guilt-tripping me over every little thing.