It hit me hard. Why not me?

And every time I pass one of the shop windows, all I see is a grubby-faced, wide-eyed boy. Mouth hanging open, full head of raggedy hair and slave clothes made dusty and dirty from the long journey.

I turn off quick into one of the side streets, away from all the shop windows, bright lights. Search for a place to slow down, catch me breath. Finally one of the streets open out onto a little park. A quiet place where I can have a rest, sit with me back up against a tree. Too many sights, too many sounds, too much newness, it make me head hurt with thoughts going round and round. I wish I could find a tall breadfruit tree to store all the stories I collect.

While me sitting there, a well-dressed old Negro man come into the park. Sit on the bench. Must be need to catch him breath too. Him nod at me like him saying, ‘Good evening.’ So I nod back. All is quiet for a while till the old man turn to me again and to my surprise strike up a conversation.

‘First time in the bay, young man?’ him ask me.

‘Yes, sir,’ not knowing how to address him.

‘You lost? Feel sick?’

‘No, sir. Me just need to get away from all the bright light dem.’

‘Plantation boy, eh?’ and I nod, trying to tidy up me raggedy clothes.

‘How many years?’

‘Nineteen.’

‘Almost a man. I was like you once,’ him say, chuckling. Then him face change with the memory of it. ‘Now look at me, you see how fate lift me up, give me ease. You can never know how things going turn out.’

I nod and smile, except I don’t believe this ever going happen. Seem like I always end up sitting behind that wait-a-bit fence, looking in on a life not meant for me.

After a while the gentleman ease himself off the bench. ‘Well, I must be on my way,’ and him pull out a penny and give it to me. ‘Good luck to you,’ tipping his hat, before him turn, head back out the park.

I never see that old man again, but him words make me feel better, not so shame. And my belly start to growl, to rumble. Remind me that I have things to do. So I tidy up as much as me can, return to the streets with all the bright light them. Then I become like one of the town folk moving quick, in a hurry with somewhere important to go.