‘Let me guess, you have been associating with those damn abolitionists. Beware, dear cousin. They speak of freedom, but the true cause they seek is to undermine our way of life.’

After that is not easy to follow all of what Mistress Caroline and the Massa talk bout, but seem like them is on opposite sides of the cow pasture, no matter what the argument. And whatever words they have, make Massa scowl.

Eventually, they stop speaking and we just sit in the heat of the afternoon, sweating, swatting the fly them, listening to the loud singing of the crickets. The river burbling. A small distraction when a flock of parrots come land on a flame tree nearby, squawking loudly as them eat the buds and flowers. At last it cool down enough to mount the horses and ride back to the plantation.

Is the first time I hear backra ask that question. Is it right to keep children of Massa like a slave? Massa seem to have no worry keeping the two apart, only hold tight to the reins of ownership. Not the reins of fatherhood.

As to him children? What bout us? We learn to look to Massa only to see what little freedoms we can get, and complain bout the ones we don’t. Mistress Caroline must have something different under the skin to question things. Is good, but it also cause pain. After what I hear her say, when I look at Massa, the feelings I bury so long ago push forward, no matter how much I try to stop them. Father. Son. Them words just make me confused, angry, and underneath, inside the shadow, them stir up a deep, deep sorrow. Mistress Caroline kindle a longing for a different kind of life, but is a longing that resemble a calabash with gaping big holes, mean nothing can ever fulfil it. In the long run, make no difference whether or not Massa think bout me as him son. Because all Massa see in me is a slave.