We spend the morning talking bout whether to sell the horses, take the money we get to pay our way in the new world we heading to. But after hearing that patoo, I try to convince James maybe we shouldn’t in case Boyle try to deceive us and then we right back where we started. Is the first time James and me have an argument. As much as him love the horses, him want to sell them and I don’t.

‘What wrong with you?’ James ask me. ‘Is like no matter what, you always seeing the dark side of things.’

‘Not true, just like to feel the ground underneath me feet, not like you, dreamer boy, standing with you head in the clouds.’

As I say it, I start to laugh out loud. Hearing that patoo must be bring up a memory. James look at me like I turn mad. When the laughter fade away, he wait for me to explain and I find myself telling him something that was buried deep.

‘Stella used to tell me the same thing. Called me a dreamer because me always looking up at the sky, watching the clouds, never looking at what was right in front of me feet.’

‘Stella? Me never know you have a wife,’ James say, winking at me.

‘Was me mother’s name.’ And the pain of Stella and what happened to her well up and me insides start to tremble, and I see how it still can make me weak.

‘You not the only one forced to leave somebody behind,’ James say. I can see sadness rise up in him too and I know him going want to talk and talk bout it.

I look at him so hard, him take a step back.

‘Now is not the time,’ I shout, and shove the memory right back down. Lock it behind the memory line I keep guard over so nothing can spill out.

‘We are selling them horses,’ James shout back. ‘And me don’t want to hear another word bout it,’ before him turn on him heel and walk away.

We break up camp and head into the town in silence, wrapped up in our jackets and hats. The weather turn cool and damp. Must be change to match our moods. By early evening, we find a stable on the outskirts and a seller willing to pay a good price. Leave the horses and continue to our hilltop lookout on foot. Listen to the tolling of the ship bells counting out the hours. Make our way to the docks after it get dark, down to the pier close to the Caroline.