Chapters (42)
All of a sudden Freddy stopped next to him and said: ‘Do you like cats, Rudolf? I don’t. Not cats, dogs, or any other kind of pet. I can’t understand what Father sees in them. A cat, for example, always gives you the impression that he’s waiting to catch you out. Look at him. He seems to be sleeping, right? But you can never be sure that he’s really asleep. At this very moment he might be listening … and he hears everything, I’m sure of it! He hears your innermost thoughts! Even the ones that you yourself are unaware of, that don’t penetrate your consciousness … and it’s not very pleasant! Sometimes, when I’m alone in the room with the cat, I feel like killing him. I can’t bear the idea of someone watching me all the time and looking inside me. Not that I’ve got anything to hide, but just because it’s a nasty feeling … People, now — that’s different. They don’t see anything. You can be with them and at the same time you can be with yourself and think whatever thoughts come into your head. They won’t notice a thing. But not animals, not cats or dogs …’
Gurdweill sat and looked at him in amazement. He would never have suspected his brother-in-law of harbouring such thoughts. This long, skinny fellow, who seemed about to bend and break into two at any moment with a dry, brittle snap, had always seemed to Gurdweill to be completely hollow, like a dry stalk. He had never exchanged more than a few pointless remarks with him in his life.
Freddy drew up a chair, sat down next to Gurdweill, and continued calmly, ‘This cat of ours knows very well that I can’t stand him. He hides away from me; he always keeps his distance … He never comes near me. And it goes without saying that it would never enter his head to jump into my lap, or rub himself against my leg. He knows. He goes up to everyone but me … And you should know that I’ve never done him any harm yet. Except for looking at him from time to time. But he knows what I’m thinking and he’s afraid … He probably also knows that I once strangled a cat when I was a boy and he’s afraid …’
‘You’re exaggerating,’ said Gurdweill, who was beginning, for some reason, to feel uneasy. ‘They don’t know anything!’