Chapters (22)
I tried to conceal the urgency that was crowding my voice-box. ‘Yes? What’s that then?’
‘Don’t fuck any of the women in this camp. I’m pretty sure that’s how I got sick.’
‘No, I won’t. Thanks for telling me.’
The next day I sold my food ration for some cigarettes, and waited for Mutschmann to come out of his delirium. It lasted most of the day. When eventually he regained consciousness he spoke to me as if our previous conversation had been only a few minutes earlier.
‘How’s it going? ‘How are the stripes?’
‘Painful,’ I said, getting off my bunk.
‘I’ll bet. That bastard sergeant with the whip really lays it on like fuck.’ He inclined his emaciated face towards me, and said: ‘You know, it seems to me that I’ve seen you somewhere.’
‘Well now, let’s see,’ I said. ‘The Rot Weiss Tennis Club? The Herrenklub? The Excelsior, maybe?’
‘You’re putting me on.’ I lit one of the cigarettes and put it between his lips.
‘I’ll bet it was at the Opera - I’m a big fan, you know. Or perhaps it was at Goering’s wedding?’ His thin yellow lips stretched into something like a smile. Then he breathed in the tobacco smoke as if it was pure oxygen.
‘You are a fucking magician,’ he said, savouring the cigarette. I took it from his lips for a second before putting it back again. ‘No, it wasn’t any of those places. It’ll come to me.’
‘Sure it will,’ I said, earnestly hoping that it wouldn’t. For a moment I thought of saying Tegel Prison, but rejected it. Sick or not, he might remember differently, and then I’d be finished with him.
‘What are you? Sozi? Kozi?’
‘Black-marketeer,’ I said. ‘How about you?’
The smile stretched so that it was almost a rictus. ‘I’m hiding.’
‘Here? From whom?’
‘Everyone,’ he said.
‘Well, you sure picked one hell of a hiding place. What are you, crazy?’
‘Nobody can find me here,’ he said. ‘Let me ask you something: where would you hide a raindrop?’ I looked puzzled until he answered, ‘Under a waterfall. In case you didn’t know it, that’s Chinese philosophy. I mean, you’d never find it, would you?’
‘No, I suppose not. But you must have been desperate,’ I said.
‘Getting sick . . . was just unlucky . . . But for that I’d have been out . . . in a year or so . . . by which time . . . they’d have given up looking.’
‘Who would?’ I said. ‘What are they after you for?’
His eyelids flickered, and the cigarette fell from his unconscious lips and onto the blanket. I drew it up to his chin and tapped out the cigarette in the hope that he might come round again for long enough to smoke the other half.