“I dare say, we cannot all be holding hands!” exclaimed Fanny in frustration. “For I need at least one hand free for pummeling!”

Susan’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped in amazement. Her timid, gentle-mannered older sister was looking and acting like she had never seen her before! A true wonder!

Mr. Crawford gallantly stood in a manner so as to block the oncoming. He then started to take off his fine jacket and roll it up into a very large wad.

Fanny, meanwhile, drew Susan to her with both hands, and spoke very quickly and with a great deal of excitement and fortitude. “To quickly explain: these are mummies, Susan,” she said.

“Mommies? What—whose mommies? What is that?”

“In a nutshell, three-thousand year old, dead, embalmed and dried out Egyptians, Susan. The process is called mummification, but there is no time to go into descriptive detail, nor to properly inform you of the techniques used, such as organ removal, brain pulling and hinged hooks—”

“Who? What? Dead? But—then why are they moving?”

“They are brought back to life, to walk among the living. Or had been—by a very dear but very foolish person we both know. They subsist on the breath of life that is in all of us, and the only way to stop them from feeding on the life force is to stop up their mouth.”

“Why, that is surely nonsensical! And—who in their right mind bought them to life?”

Fanny sighed. “I am truly ashamed to admit; it is none other than our own, dear aunt Bertram. Remember that little cat-headed Egyptian statuette you had received last Christmas? It is but one of the symptoms of her malady!”

“Oh dear, gracious me!”

“Yes, Susan, my love. I realize it is a bit too much to take in all at once—”

But Susan’s open mouth widened into a grin. “Oh, no, not at all, I understand!” she exclaimed.

“Less talk, my dears, and more mouth-crushing action, if you please,” quipped Mr. Crawford, glancing at Fanny once with a meaningful tiny smile, as he used his fine jacket to stifle the vanguard mummy that had reached him first.

Fanny went to work. A package of High Street purchases was in her hands, of just the right size to be of use as a blunt projectile. “Watch this, Susan, dear! I endeavored to better your mind with reading and education, but at present juncture, this will do just as well!” And, before a mummy could lean in and assail her with its rotting skin, she firmly shoved the package in its gaping maw and pushed, very very hard. Moments later came a satisfying crunch, a collapse, and the mummy disintegrated into dust.

Susan gave a loud exclamation of delight.