I struggled to sort everything into words. It didn’t work. I just shut down like an overloaded circuit.

“Talk to me.”

Some sort of words finally came out. “Where can we even go from here . . .”

“I don’t want to go anywhere. I love you. You love me. We’re together. We’re a team.”

Suddenly my emotions sorted themselves out and anger finally ran to the front of the pack. “No, we’re not a team. You made me a patsy in your scheme. You treated me like I’m an idiot. I thought about hurting her. I thought about hurting you.”

“You wouldn’t hurt her. She’s weaker than you.”

“You’re an arrogant bastard.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “You got more?”

“Yes. You’re a smug asshole.”

“Yes, I am.” He motioned at me. “Don’t hold back. Tell me how you really feel.”

I punched him in the jaw. It was a good solid hook.

Curran shook his head. “I deserved that. Are we okay?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You still don’t get it. Hugh is playing me. He thinks I’m gullible and naive, and he thinks he can run circles around me. And you, you did the exact same thing. I trusted you and you used it against me. You led me around like I was blind. We’re not okay.”

“What are you saying?” He was looking up at me. I saw something odd in his gray eyes and realized it was desperation.

“I’m really mad at you, Curran. This isn’t one of those fights where we both lose our temper, spar, talk, and we’re okay. This is my line in the sand. I don’t know if I can roll with this punch.”

“So this is it?”

“I’m trying to decide.”

I trusted him and he broke that trust, and while I could think around it, I couldn’t feel my way past it. It felt like he came up to give me a hug and slid a knife between my ribs.

Curran unlocked his teeth. “I did the only thing I could do. Everything I’ve done and everything I’ve said was to keep you alive. I’m sorry I made you go through it, but if I had to do it over, I would do it again. Even if that means you’ll leave with Hugh tomorrow. You being safe is more important to me than having you. I love you.”

I loved him, too. Inside me a small voice told me that in his place I would’ve done the same thing, no matter the fallout I had to endure at the end. Having him alive and mad at me was infinitely better than having him dead. But loving someone and being with him were two different things.