I knew what he meant. He was describing that moment when you realize that you are lonely. For a time you can be alone and doing fine and never give a thought to living any other way and then you meet someone and suddenly you become lonely. It stabs at you, almost like a physical pain, and you feel both deprived and angry, deprived because you wish to be with that person and angry, because their absence brings you misery. It’s a strange feeling, akin to desperation, a feeling that makes you wait by the phone even though you know that the call is an hour away. I was not going to lose my balance. Not yet.

I moved closer to him and leaned against his shoulder. We both knew that sex was out of the question.

“Do you mind if I stay anyway?” he asked.

“No.”

I fell asleep leaning on him.

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6

I AWOKE BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS WATCHING ME.

“Don’t you know it’s not polite to stare, boy wonder?”

Derek gave Crest a derisive glance. The boy wonder was wearing sweats I didn’t recognize. They didn’t come from Greg’s wardrobe. He must’ve gone out. Where exactly did he go?

During the night we had moved into a somewhat reclining position and I was lying on Crest’s chest. I sat straight. “You disapprove?”

He shook his head. “It isn’t my place.”

“You don’t like him all the same, though.”

“He and you . . .” he made a put-together motion with his hands, fingers spread coming together but not quite touching. “You don’t look right together.”

“Why not?”

“You’re harder than he is.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“The man’s supposed to be harder. So he can protect.”

“Do you think I’m in need of protection?” The threatening overtone crept into my voice without intention.

“He will never tell you no,” Derek said.

I stared at him until he lowered his gaze.

“Very few people tell me no,” I said.

“Yeah.”

“How’s your leg?”

“Fine.”

“Did you go out while I slept?”

“Yeah. Just a short jog.”

“Maybe you should go for another one.”

He left without saying a word. I woke Crest. “Time to go.”

He rubbed his face with his palms. “Did I oversleep?”

“It’s six thirty.”

“Time enough to get home and change clothes. When will I see you again?”

I thought of the Coca-Cola logo half-buried in rubble and a two-hundred-year-old vampire. Maybe never.

“How about on Friday? Gives us a couple of days to cool off.”

“It’s Friday then.”

He left. He didn’t kiss me again.