Afterwards, as they lay together, Emily told him about her childhood holiday in Australia, and her aborted meeting with her grandparents, and how they’d stayed the night at the back of a cafe in a small town. And how this was a period in which she had regressed to wetting the bed, at the age of eight, traumatised by seeing her father throw himself under a train the previous year. Every night during that holiday in Australia—they visited Sydney and the Central Coast—she slept on her stepfather’s lined coat, which stayed dry until the night before they flew back to England.

‘I don’t know why I told you that,’ said Emily.

‘No, I’m happy we can talk about these things. About anything.’

‘This shouldn’t happen again, should it?’ said Emily.

‘It shouldn’t,’ said Liam. ‘But it was a great deal of fun.’

‘We’re silly,’ Emily said, getting dressed. She left Liam naked in his bed, and they never spoke again about the afternoon they had sex. It was, Emily imagined, the sort of thing that happened in most other share apartments occupied by young people in London.

5.

Liam did not, in the end, go out for a large meal. In his hotel room Emily moved from the bed to the desk. On the desk, already unpacked, was a thin stack of papers: someone’s story for the magazine, which Liam had edited with blue pencil. Emily loved his handwriting, its loops and billows: it was both pretty and difficult to read. He appeared to find it hard to look at her. Some people don’t know what they mean to you. For years, when no one was around, Emily found herself saying Liam’s name out loud, idly, as if they were in the same room. She didn’t have many friends, not true friends. She loved Liam, yes, it was a kind of love, but if they began a romantic relationship she was certain it would not last long, that it would be a performed kind of intimacy, and performed badly, and she’d lose him entirely in the end. He was like family. Emily was an only child. Some people don’t know how important they are to you.

‘I can’t be with you,’ Emily said.

‘All right.’

‘It’s because—’

‘I’m fine with not knowing why,’ Liam said.

‘But I don’t intend to walk away from this friendship.’

‘On second thought, I’d like to know why we can’t be together.’

‘Because we’re friends. That’s what we are. Friends. That’s what we’ve always been. It’s meaningful to me because it’s a friendship. You can’t be anything other than a friend.’

‘You’re saying the word “friend” a lot.’

‘I don’t have a lot of them.’

‘I think you’re the love of my life.’

‘That life is not the one we’re having.’