Zadok carried on regardless. “As you are my son, I believe we may share similar gifts—portals being one of them—while you’ll also have a few of your own. We may not have the time to get you wielding your magic expertly before you leave, it can take years, but we can at least figure out what we’re working with and go from there. Besides, portals are a good start as they’re not only useful as transport, they are also an escape route should you ever need one.”

I stood from my bent-over, hands-on-knees position. “I want to learn it all.”

He chuckled, the look on his face suggesting he’d expected my answer. “We will see how you do with portals, then perhaps we’ll throw in a few of the basic defensive and offensive spells from that grimoire I gave you. I want you to be able to protect yourself, especially if a war is brewing.”

I nodded enthusiastically, recalling my conversation with Cair the day we’d left the palace. “I want to be able to protect Cair too. I don’t expect to be able to fight on the front lines, but I don’t want to be completely useless. What would be the point in having a skill like this if I can’t use it to protect the people I love?”

His gaze softened, though there was a hint of pain there. “Of course.”

For the next hour or so—maybe even days, I couldn’t tell—Zadok tutored me on how to safely manifest my magic and center it in my palms. He said it was a crucial step. That formally introducing myself to my power and coaxing it to one area of my body before a spell made it easier to steer. It also meant I’d achieve the desired effects from incantations much quicker.

Oh, and there would be less chance of it accidentally bursting out and wreaking havoc. You know, because that was super important.

“Once you master this, you’ll be able to call on your magic much more naturally,” he reminded me for the fifteenth time, and I didn’t doubt it.

Problem was, I couldn’t seem to get the hang of it.

“It’s not happening.” I threw up my hands in frustration, so close to tearing out my hair. If he hadn’t been there, I’d have given up way before now. I was a persistent fucker when it came to my special interests, but I had a limit, and if I wasn’t seeing any progress after the first few attempts, I didn’t want it.

Zadok sent me a look. “You’ve only tried six times.”

“Can’t I just try to open a portal?” I grumbled, wiping the sweat off my brow. That sun was killing me. “Clearly you think I’ve done it before, so…”