Cair had suffered immeasurably watching me die and come back to life. Losing and regaining a mate in one fell swoop had flipped his entire system upside down. Of course he was hesitant. He wasn’t just scared to let his instinct take over in case he hurt me, he was downright traumatized, and there I was moving on too quickly and asking for sex because I was a selfish asshole and I’d yet again let self-consciousness rule me.

I was the fucking worst.

“’M sorry if I pushed you. I wasn’t⁠—”

“Shhh, you didn’t.” He tenderly kissed my eyelids one at a time. “Never feel guilty for having needs, my heart, or for asking me to fulfill them. I shouldn’t have distanced myself, but I could not think of another way to calm my instincts. Be assured that my wavering was not because I don’t desire to be with you in every single way. Believe me, I do, but I also need more time to regulate. All I ask is for a little patience before I take you completely.”

“I’ll wait as long as you need. I only thought…” I lowered my eyes to the water, cutting off the dumb worries spinning around in my head.

“Talk to me.”

“I don’t know, I thought maybe you didn’t feel the same as before. That what happened put you off me, and I guess that worry took root and made me a little too desperate for affection. I didn’t even consider your feelings, or that you’d obviously need more time, ’cause once I entertained the possibility that you might’ve realized I’m not what you want anymore, I couldn’t let it go.” I released a self-deprecating laugh. “Sounds awful when I say it out loud. Stupid too.” Never had I wanted so badly to scoop out my brain and give it a shake.

Cair cupped my cheeks in his hands, demanding my attention as he gazed at me as if he was holding his entire world. “You are everything to me, do you understand?” he said, tears gathering in his dark eyes, his voice cracking. “You are the air that I breathe, the blood in my heart, and the spark in my soul. I cannot live without you beside me, Luca, and nothing—not one single element on this earth or beyond—will ever make that any less so.”

I blinked up at him, my vision blurry and the smile on my face shaking at the edges. Whatever insecure thought had been spiraling in my head vanished into the ether. I should never have doubted him, even for a second.

What was it I’d once said about us overcoming every hurdle together?

“How do you keep making me fall more in love with you?”