Why is everything so hard?

I changed back into my hoodie, and because I had nowhere to go, I stayed at the thrift shop all day and alphabetized the book donations in the stockroom.

Now, that’s something I can see myself doing. Menial, mundane, mindless. And I didn’t have to speak to anyone. Except for Emma. I still can’t get over the color of her eyes. They are the palest blue; it’s insane.

Tomorrow I’m going to make a new plan regarding the job situation.

It cannot be this difficult!!!

Sunday, February 11 #JobSearchTake345219

Here are jobs I found in the Wimbledon Gazette that don’t involve talking to the general public:

• Nanny. But I don’t like children.
• Paper route. But I don’t want to get up at 4 A.M.
• Dog walker. But I don’t want to pick up shit for a living.

I also looked if there were any jobs at the library, but the only “jobs” they’re advertising are voluntary, and let’s face it, a job you’re not getting paid for isn’t a job. It’s a hobby.

Maybe I should work my connections. Tyler Johnson works at that crap café by the train station, and I could ask him if they’re looking for anyone. I went in there once, and the woman literally didn’t even acknowledge my presence when I paid for a Coke. I can do that.

Matilda Hollingsworth works at Hollister, but there’s no point in me even asking, because you have to be proper fit to work there. Like Matilda, oh, and Jason Goodman. I swear if those two had children, they’d be, like, the next master race (not in a Nazi way, though).

Monday, February 12 #CardlessLoserAlert

The Valentine’s countdown is getting real.

Last year I got a card from Polly, but since she still hasn’t even wished me a happy new year, I reckon I’ll be cardless this year.

I really hate that it bothers me, because you’re not a better or worthier person just because someone felt pressured into buying you some meaningless crap.

5:43 P.M.

Should I make a card for Polly just in case she’s got one for me?

I could use watercolors, but instead of water, I’ll use my own tears. LOL.

Tuesday, February 13 #Cringe.com

Annie asked Polly if she and Tristan have had proper sex yet (i.e., intercourse).

Luckily, Polly did the classy thing of saying: “I’m sorry, Annie, but I don’t discuss my sex life in public.”

Miriam Patel cut in immediately and was like: “Oh, I know, it’s so tacky, neither do I.”

How is she missing the irony?

Wednesday, February 14 #Blech!

Kate’s such a weirdo. She gave me a massive handmade Valentine’s card from the designer cats, including actual pictures of each one. She made the writing all different and crooked, so it looks like the cats actually wrote it. (She’s so insane.)

Dear Phoebe,

Will you be our Valentine?

Lots of love, Mama Mimi and Sassy