Jaehee was good at making sweet perilla-leaf soy sauce preserves, and I had my special recipe for spicy vongole pasta. I was an expert at washing dishes spotlessly, and Jaehee’s courageous soul allowed her to swipe the shower drain clean of clogged hair. After seeing me snacking on frozen blueberries, she always stocked the freezer with bulk-size bags of frozen American blueberries.

In return, I bought her favorite cigarettes, Marlboro Reds, and stacked them next to the blueberries in the freezer. Jaehee said she loved how cool her lips felt whenever she smoked the first cigarette from a new pack.

2.

When Jaehee said she was getting married, the first thing I said was, “Are you pregnant?” Jaehee commented that everyone had reacted that exact same way, without a single exception, and cackled. Surprisingly, she wasn’t, nor had she gone anywhere near getting pregnant. Things had just turned out that way—that was the way she put it. And her putting it so made me think it was serious this time.

Jaehee? Getting married?

I couldn’t quite believe it. It was more likely that I would take a bride than she a groom. Jaehee just seemed too far removed from the idea of stability and settling down.

◊

When we reached our mid-twenties, Jaehee drank and went out with multiple men as if it were an Olympic sport and she were competing for gold. Since I hated losing, and since I was into booze and men to begin with, I also got drunk and slept with a new man every night. And every morning, I realized anew that the world was filled with lonely people as I walked out of the motel cluster in the Jongno district with my hair in disarray. Some of the men I met wanted more than just drinking followed by a one-night stand. No matter how many times I refused, they kept going on about wanting to date me and threatening to come see me at my apartment, at which point I would fend them off by saying I had a roommate.

—A roommate?

After discussing how we would tell a partner about each other, Jaehee and I decided that the male version of her would be Jaeho, a supposed cohort in the department, and I would be the lovely Jieun, a friend from back home. In each other’s worlds we lived as Jaeho and Jieun, perfect excuses for keeping men at bay.

For example, Jaehee might receive a text from her (temporary) boyfriend:

Hey Jaehee, why did you turn your phone off last night? And not look at your texts?

Ugh. Jieun got sick last night. I was in the ER with her all night! (“Jieun” had been perfectly fine and was snoring away at home while Jaehee was drinking five bottles of soju with guys from school.)

Hyung, are you free this weekend?

Sorry. Jaeho and I are going to the Han River for some beer. (“Jaeho” was probably busy meeting up to have sex with men, and I was probably going to fuck someone else before dumping you.)