Eyes met and held again.

More silence.

“I owe you an apology,” Jake finally began. “For how I’ve acted since Harold’s heart attack and for not returning your calls. You don’t deserve how I’ve treated you and ... I’m sorry.”

“You’re right, Jake. I don’t deserve it.” And then, “Why didn’t you call me?”

Jake sighed. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I mean ... look, I know you’re angry but ... chill out a little, all right? This isn’t easy for me—”

“And you think I’m skipping to my Lou?”

“But I want to tell you everything; I need to try and make you understand.”

Jake was right. Dominique was angry. Still, she remembered what Johnny had told her about the little boy who still lived inside this massive man sitting in front of her. So she took a breath, uncrossed her arms, and waited.

After the waiter had placed down their drinks, Jake continued. “Something happened that day in the skating rink parking lot when I heard about Harold’s heart attack. I went into shut down mode, much like I did when Daddy died. Back then I buried my feelings, stuffed all of that hurt and anger and anguish deep inside me and basically tried to ignore how bad I felt. Over the years, I never dealt with it. When Robin died, I did the same thing—buried the hurt under work and a string of casual affairs. But that day, that phone call pulled the scab off the wound and all of that pain came rushing back full force.

“From the time I was twelve, losing the people around me that I love has been my biggest fear, even bigger than the fear of my dying young. But that fear, that belief, that I wouldn’t live to see my fiftieth or sixtieth birthday, is probably the reason I waited too late to have children with Robin. I never want to put a child through what happened to me.

“When I sat in that hospital with Harold clinging to life, all I could think about was Justin, and how he’d feel if I died. I remember what you said about Kevin, and how hard it was for Justin when that man left his life. I thought about you,” Jake continued, looking deeply into Dominique’s eyes, “and how hard it would be for you, too.”

Dominique swallowed past the lump in her throat. “But you left me anyway.”

“I didn’t mean to; I didn’t want to. But can’t you see that I was only trying to protect you? To keep you and Justin from being hurt?”